A Contest! Name That Law!

785 Replies to “A Contest! Name That Law!”

1. Educators Measuring Obedience (Emo) Act

2. Children Win

3. What about “Let’s Make Poorer Schools Suffer More” Act or the “No Extracurricular Activities makes Children Do Worse” Act? Or, how about the “Only leave children behind in minority and immigrant communities” Act? Or the “Dumb a$$ Re-testing” Act. Perhaps “The Rich Get Richer While the Poor Get Dumber” Act or “Children Advance Through Social Promotion” Act

   Let’s try a completely new act like Real Assessment Means Real Education. Which means really assessing what the needs of each school or school district are and basing the funding on that. Or the “Advancement through Quality Education” Act.

   If not, I’ll have to enact my own act with my 4 year old called “My Mommy Stopped Paying Taxes to Teach Me” Act, meaning I may have to stop working to teach my child if things keep going the way they have been.

4. A. Eliminate Public Education Act
   II. Public Education Only For The Privileged Act

5. How about “No Child or Teacher Held Accountable”

6. All Children Left Behind

7. How about the “Will This Be On the Test?” Act

8. The Department of Redundency Department Act For Change Department Act
   OR
   I Wish I Had Two Nickels to Rub Together Act

9. No Child Left Ahead

10. Americas Communist Education System. ACES
    Why isn’t it ok to want to be the school janitor anymore? Not everyone is cut out to be a brain surgeon or banker or politician. Last time I checked everyone still had different talents. Math and reading are not the only things that make up a quality lifestyle.

11. Jokingly: Driving Creative Minds Away from the Teaching Profession Act

    Seriously: the Children as Individual Learners Act, meaning we would have to change the law completely…

12. How about these?

    Children And Teachers Crisis Help (CATCH)

    People Investing in Education (PIE)

    Responsibile Investment in Global Human Talent (RIGHT)

    Something To Invent Mostly Unfair Lifetime Unemployment Situations (STIMULUS)

13. The Most Uncreative, Republican, Boring, Uninteresting, Excruciatingly Hair-brained Act That Congress has ever failed to put down.

14. The real Project for the New American Century. (PNAC)

15. No Child Gets Ahead is also good.

16. “The No Child Rides The Bus Without Bringing Gas Money Act,” and other thoughts on the future at:
    http://www.districtadministration.com/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=1873

17. The “We’re Sorry We Screwed Up the Planet, and We’d Help You If We Could, But We Haven’t Got the Time Act”

18. The Learn How to Pass a Standardized Test so We Don’t Have to Teach You to Really Think Act

19. EDUCATION

    Education
    Delivers
    Unique
    Capacities in the
    Arts,
    Tests &
    Innovation
    On
    Nations

20. The Garlic offers these;

    Leave Bush Behind Act
    Clear Bush Policies Act
    All Children To The Front Act
    Clean Minds Act
    Compassionate Education Act
    He’s Gone, Now We Can Learn Act

    And, in homage to former Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings, The Flashcards with Buster Act

21. “New, Original Action on Education” Act, the natural shortened version of the name of the Act then being “NO Action on Education” Act.

22. Okay, how about this? When I was dancing, the choreographer called us SLUGS or Slow Learners Under Great Stress. Ha! (kidding of course)

    I’m thinking Worlds of Wonder or Working on Winning (WOW) or some such uplifting acronym. I’ll keep thinking. 🙂

    Jenifer Olson

    P.S. I’m reading your book and loving it. Thanks!

23. Education (Endeavor) Enrichment Act; or

    Makin/Building Education (that) matters/count Act; or

    (Forming) Sustainable Education Act; or

    Value Education Act

24. JHHBAY “Just Hold Him Back A Year”

    That’s all I’ve heard since the testing started. Nothing to work on at home, no tutoring program, just keep him back, it’ll be easier!

25. Be Responsive to Aptitude Interrogatories Not Intelligence ACT
    BRAINI-ACT

26. The If Life Were Fair We Wouldn’t Even Be Here Act

27. I almost forgot!

    “Just Put Them on Drugs Act”

    I’ve gotten that one too, not from someone trained to make that decision, it would just make this easier.

28. “Every Left-Behind Child’s Left Behind Righted” Act

29. The Forget About Education, Focus On the Lottery Act

30. Fin-singa-da, after three countries which continually spank our no child left behinds.

31. The “No Child Left Untested” Act,

32. No “No Administrator Left Untested” Act.

33. Most folks in the education business – teachers, administrators, parents, students – know what helps children to perform well on tests, or, something that is more important, to learn well how to learn: teachers who know their subject, are generally well educated, and who know how to teach; administrators who support them by limiting their work load to what is manageable and paying them enough to do it in a safe, orderly environment; parents who consider education an important part of their children’s upbringing and are supportive of their kids efforts; and students who have realized that education is interesting, valuable, fun, or something else worth the effort. Inspiration, taking care, working reasonably hard, and nurturing the enjoyment of it all do better than preparing for and taking tests. Harder to measure, though.
    A big drawback of measurement by standardized test is that there will always be students who excel, and those who don’t. You might be able to push the whole statistical distribution to the right, but the trailing edge will always be there. You’ll never get all the kids to be above average. There are also developmental limitations that humans have, and sometimes you have to just wait until someone is ready to make a certain step.
    What, then constitutes being “left behind”? The name certainly ought to be ditched. If we want a name to encourage or inspire, “No Child Left Behind” certainly is not it. In any case, all programs from the Bush years were named in newspeak – the names said the opposite of the administration’s intent. If a bill in Congress would do what needs to be done, “House (or Senate) Bill # —” would suffice .

34. The “No Teacher Left Motivated” Bill

35. How about “The when in doubt choose ‘C’ act”

36. How about the EPPE Act – Expel Poor Performers Early. Worked in Texas.

37. How about the Human Capital Investment Act of 2009?

    (I’ve been reading Heckman’s Inequality in America . . .)

38. Putting America’s Children Back On Track (PACBOT)

39. All Children Left Behind

    Lets just say it like it was under the Idiot.

40. I’ve long referred to it as –

    No Child Left Ahead

    If we can just teach all students to one standard, we can get rid of all that horrible exceptionalism out there!

41. “Don’t Misunderestimate Our Children Act”

42. Most Children Left Behind Act

43. Redefining the Three “Rs”: The Rote, Repetition, and Regurgitation Act

44. “Teaching to the Lowest Common Denominator Act”

45. America’s National Academic Legislation

46. On Bettering America’s Minds Act (OBAMA)

47. No Child Left in an Art or Music Class Act

48. No Child Left Untested

    or perhaps

    No Child Left A Child (free to run, and play and have recess…..)

49. Decree by us Omniscient Adults to reinvent childhood – or simply the BOA (constrictor) act – how many of you preferred listening to the drone of a math teacher when you were ten years old?

50. How about, “Learn From Our Mistakes Act.” If spell it out in print, maybe Arne Duncan and the DOE won’t make the same sophomoric mistakes that have plagued NCLB.

    If that doesn’t grab ya, how about “Teach the Way Students Learn Act?” If teaching is not based on how students actually learn, all we’ll ever get to do is cover the material.