A Contest! Name That Law!

785 Replies to “A Contest! Name That Law!”

1. Each Child Shows Less Behind

2. Thinking Optional Act
   360 Act- Because we’re right back where we started
   Delusional Reductive Un-acheivable Goals act

3. Left Child Behind, Oh No! Act
   First Their Left Behind, Then Their Right One Act

4. Someone already mentioned Garrison Keillor; what about

   The Lake Woebegon Act

5. Growth/Relevance/Ability/Support/Promise Act (GRASP)

6. Your kid’s stupid , but we’ll pass him anyway.

7. Shortchanging education, here’s what George Bush said:
   “No child is left benind if no child can get ahead!”

   Let’s call it the Relief for Bushed Schools Act.

8. A Priest-run Catholic School Program:
   Leave no Child’s Behind

9. I like “How Are We Going to Get These Kids’ Test Scores Up? Act.” I seem to hear this every day I’m at school; it must be the unofficial name for something.

10. How ’bout “Nobody Wants to Admit That Their Kids Are Stupid or Are Suffering From Their Parents’ Batterings by the Misfortunes of Life or Poor Lifestyle Choices, So Lets Blame It All on the Teachers and Administrators Act”?

11. How about:

    “Mandatory Redacting of All Baby-Boomers Rebranding of the Appropriately-Named ‘Elementary and Secondary Education Act'”

12. Yes, Child, We’re Behind (Get Moving!) Act

13. No Child Allowed to Rise Above Mediocrity Act

14. Don’t worry, you won’t be able to afford college anyway act
    DWYWBATACAA

15. “Reach Out And Test Someone” Act

16. Not Yet Smarter Than a Fifth Grader (NYSTFG)

    We’re Coming For You, Japan (WCFYJ)

    Tropicana’s: The Juice is Worth the Read (TTJWR)

    These Color’s Don’t Run (from Calculus) (TCDRC)

    Keep Our Daughters Off the Pole Act of 2009 (KODOPA)

17. Never Mind Child Behind Act

18. Hey, Teacher, Leave Those Kids Behind Act

19. Smarty Pants or Clever Skirt for Every Child Act

20. STOP: Support Teachers and Open Pedagogy Act

21. SEA — Standardize Everything Act.

22. Some kids should be left behind

23. Stop the Kids at the Top Act; Only the Kids at the Bottom Count Act; Only the Testmakers Win Act

24. Intelligent Design Invades Our Teaching act

25. No Child Left With Funding

26. Grading On The Curve Of The Curve Wink Wink Act

27. The Who In Their Right Mind Would Go Into Teaching Now Act

28. The Every Child Takes It In The Behind act

29. Another Form of Corporal Punishment on Their Behinds

    A College Major in Test-Taking Can’t Be Far Behind

30. Whatever happens, the kids will lose their butts, so “No Child Left with a Behind”.

31. Eight Years of Education – What did you learn?

32. How about calling it the “Making Johnny and Suzie Study as Europeans Do Will Ruin their Childhoods, So Let’s Stay Mediocre” Act

33. The Real Effort to Make Education Meaningful, Broadening, Enlightening, and Relevant Act (REMEMBER Act)

    The “Politicians Who Say They’re in Favor of Education, But Just Not Paying For It” Accountability Act

    The “Ignorance is Bliss, Don’t Worry Be Happy” Act

    The “If You Think That Education Costs Too Much, Try Ignorance” Act

34. No Standardized Test Left Behind

    or

    Standardized Testing Company Federal Bailout Relief Act

35. The No Child Can Get Ahead Lest Anyone Be Left Behind Act

    The Let’s All Feel Good While Solving Nothing Act

    The Let The Only Kid Who Fails Hurt the School District Act

    The Standardized Test Tampering Promotion Act

36. The “dumb it down” and fall behind Asia Act!

37. Replace Education with Testing Act

    Out with Educational Philosophy Act

    Teacher-Proof Micro-Education Act

    Stunt Brain Development and Waste Lots of Money Act

38. No Administrator Left Behind

39. The “Yo, We Gotta Take Another Test” Act.

    “Lets Boor the Shit Out of the Kids by Teaching for the Test Act”

    “Republicans Against Free Thought in Education Act”. or just the “Republicans Against Public Education Act” for short.

    How about “Let’s Gut the Public Education System so the Wealthy Won’t Have to Pay Poor Children to Learn Act”. or “If the Public Schools Fail We Can Justify the Voucher Act and Freely Teach Creationism Act, Act”

    My best one is “Dampen Independent Thought In Education So the Class of 2012 Can Help Put the Republicans Back in the White House Act”

40. How about naming it for the letter sent to the parents of the kids who failed the test…

    YO Child Left Behind

41. The Voucher-Readiness Act
    The Teacher Held Hostage Act
    The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Act
    The Consumers of Tomorrow Act

42. TESTES: The Educational Standardized Test Enforcement System.

43. Educating Our Future Act (EOFA)
    or
    Educating The Future Act (ETFA)

44. BTPRDWWTBWHOF Act

    Bleed Teachers Personal Resources Dry While Walking Tightrope Blindfolded With Hair on Fire Act

45. The Eyes Down, Pencils Up Act.

46. The dumbasses of tomorrow act.

    We learn gooder and bestest act.

    Students and Teachers Understanding and Pursuing Intelligent Development. (S.T.U.P.I.D)

    The I can’t learn so I’ll join the military act.

47. How about the no idiot, who probably has never actually read the act, left without his thumb where it shouldn’t be (behind) while children are actually being left behind act.

48. We should increase the physical education requirements for kids and rename it, “No Child With a Big Behind.”

49. We don’t want an education system that makes our schools palaces of learning that install the joy of gaining knowledge. That would cost too much. Remember taxes? We just want day care. So clearly, we should call it:

    Day Care R Us Act

    or

    We Can’t Do It Better But We Can Do It Cheaper Act

50. How about ” All Children Are Created Equal Act”