A Contest! Name That Law!

United States Secretary of Education Arne Duncan has not surprisingly said that he’s open to renaming the “No Child Left Behind Act” something else.   Before President Bush, for instance, the Clinton version of the law was called the “Improving America’s Schools Act.”  The underlying law is the Elementary and Secondary Education Act, it’s not going anywhere but a new name is likely in the offing.

Howie Schaffer suggested that the time is now to start naming names.  So let’s have a contest.  The person who offers the best name, decided via a highly arbitrary process involving me and a few friends, wins a signed copy of this picture of DCPS official Justin Cohen in a really tacky frame.  Runners-up get books.

785 Replies to “A Contest! Name That Law!”

  1. The “Successful Schools for a Strong America Act.”
    (If I win, I’m putting the picture of Justin on Ebay.)

  2. In homage to Japanese anime popular when Japanese pedagogical outcomes were fashionable, I propose “Read (By Scientifically Proven Methods) Or Die.”

  3. The All American Chidren Are Above Average Act (AACAAAA)

    Federal Aid to Schools with Handouts In Order of (FASHION)

  4. Creating Successful Learning Environments for All Children-
    All Children Can Learn – ACCL

  5. I figure the name has to get the equity, choice, and standards people on board. I also find it irritating that so few of our popular acronyms (KIPP, TFA, NEA, NCLB, etc) spell anything. So I suggest:

    RACE, the Raise Achievement through Choice and Excellence Act.

  6. Ok i know I sort of already entered this but this one is much better:

    Achieving America’s Reading, wRiting and aRithmatic Goals


  7. Every child deserves a good education but not every child wants to go to college, special ed children get taught trades act.

  8. REDO: Resourcing Educational and Developmental Outcomes
    BOOBIES: Bolster Outcomes and Occupational Benefits In Education Success
    EEP: Educational Excellence Priorities
    CREEP: Creating and Resourcing Educational Excellence Priorities
    BRATS: Building Resources for American Teaching Success

  9. (I really like AARRRG!)

    I can’t believe I’m the first to submit this: The Elementary and Secondary Education Act.

    Plain vanilla, no hyperbole, no propaganda. Nah….that’ll never fly…not in 21st century America…

  10. Act to Help Children Read Gooder (and do other things gooder, too)

    Obama’s President Because He Got Off His A** and Worked For It, So Should You! Act

    Inspired by Gladwell: The FIRED Act, Fire Incompetent, in need of Remediation EDucators.

    Inspired by Gladwell: The HIRED Act, Hire Inspiring, in need of cRedentials EDucators.

    In all seriousness:

    BLESSED – Building Learning Environments, School by School, EDucation Act.

  11. We have been calling it No Child Left Untested since it inception. Since the unproven belief that attaching consequences to that externally developed achievement tests appears to still have wide support, I propose we call it that.

  12. How about:

    Mass Overhaul To Holistically Edify Regulations For Universally Competitive K-12 Education Reform.

    Wait, we already use that popular acronym….

  13. SSTSDM – Stop Standardized Testing So Damn Much-

    Let teachers teach to the children and not to the tests!

  14. Administration, Do no Harm Damnit! (ADHD)

    Don’t Reinvent the Wheel (DRAW) Act

    And, in all seriousness,

    Strengthen the Education Pipeline

  15. Ignoring the Impact of Parents and Putting the Blame on Teachers Act

    Placing blame on Teachers not Lazy Parents Act

    No Teacher Left Unjaded

    Teach to the Test Act

  16. I think, if we can get his permission, we should rename it the Garrison Keillor Act. After all, NCLB is no more of a fictional construct than Lake Woebegon where “all the children are above average!”

  17. Since the inception of the current act, we have been calling it NVLB: No Vendor Left Behind.

    I sincerely hope that, this time, the act will be about kids and schools and not about how much money there is to be made.

    Knowing Individual Development’s Significance

  18. National Testing Services Subsidy Act.
    Thinly Veiled Attempt at Totally Destroying Public Education in an Attempt to Privatize Education with Voucher Programs Act.

    Also any words to yield the acronym CRAP, HOGWASH, or WORTHLESS.

  19. How about the, It’s too difficult and expensive to actually look at education as part of a matrix of injustice and inequality in all aspects of society so we’ll just pretend like education alone can solve all our problems because at least then we’re using taxpayer dollars to create a market where edupreneurs and other mouseketeers can make a buck while removing the burden of educating our children from public governance Act. Or the This School Could Be Yours Act for short (advertising). Don’t believe me, believe Susan: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1812758,00.html. Also see Cato: http://www.cato.org/pubs/pas/pa-386es.html

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