A Contest! Name That Law!

785 Replies to “A Contest! Name That Law!”

1. The “Successful Schools for a Strong America Act.”
   (If I win, I’m putting the picture of Justin on Ebay.)

2. It should be named Caitlin. Everybody seems to be naming things Caitlin these days. Or Caleb.

3. In homage to Japanese anime popular when Japanese pedagogical outcomes were fashionable, I propose “Read (By Scientifically Proven Methods) Or Die.”

4. The All American Chidren Are Above Average Act (AACAAAA)

   Federal Aid to Schools with Handouts In Order of (FASHION)

5. The Act of Contrition.

   (for non-Catholics, see Wikipedia)

6. Double Back Around To Pick Up The Children We Left Behind Act

7. Hey Joe

   Not Caitlin.

   Liang.

   Because of this. http://www.treas.gov/tic/mfh.txt

8. Not Even We Think This Will Work Act

   Mega-sized Multiple Choice Exam Act

9. Mental Asset Recovery Plan (MARP)

10. The Rearranging the Deck Chairs Act.

11. The Almost Pro-Comp, Not Quite Rhee Reform, Van Roekel Palpable, No Maintenence of Effort Act.

12. AARRRG!
    Aligning America’s Reading, wRiting, and aRithmetic Grades

13. No Child Left Untested

14. Educating All Children Act

15. Creating Successful Learning Environments for All Children-
    CSLEFAC
    All Children Can Learn – ACCL

16. No Excuse Left Behind … because they’re always coming up with new ones.

17. I figure the name has to get the equity, choice, and standards people on board. I also find it irritating that so few of our popular acronyms (KIPP, TFA, NEA, NCLB, etc) spell anything. So I suggest:

    RACE, the Raise Achievement through Choice and Excellence Act.

18. Ok i know I sort of already entered this but this one is much better:

    Achieving America’s Reading, wRiting and aRithmatic Goals

    AARRRG!

19. Every child deserves a good education but not every child wants to go to college, special ed children get taught trades act.

20. Every Opportunity to Learn Act

21. Teach Every American Child (TEACh)

22. REDO: Resourcing Educational and Developmental Outcomes
    BOOBIES: Bolster Outcomes and Occupational Benefits In Education Success
    EEP: Educational Excellence Priorities
    CREEP: Creating and Resourcing Educational Excellence Priorities
    BRATS: Building Resources for American Teaching Success

23. (I really like AARRRG!)

    I can’t believe I’m the first to submit this: The Elementary and Secondary Education Act.

    Plain vanilla, no hyperbole, no propaganda. Nah….that’ll never fly…not in 21st century America…

24. The

    Outstanding
    Better
    Amazing
    Magnificent
    Achievement

    Act

25. Act to Help Children Read Gooder (and do other things gooder, too)

    Obama’s President Because He Got Off His A** and Worked For It, So Should You! Act

    Inspired by Gladwell: The FIRED Act, Fire Incompetent, in need of Remediation EDucators.

    Inspired by Gladwell: The HIRED Act, Hire Inspiring, in need of cRedentials EDucators.

    In all seriousness:

    BLESSED – Building Learning Environments, School by School, EDucation Act.

26. Could We Start Again, Please (CWSAP)

27. I vote for Tyler.

28. We have been calling it No Child Left Untested since it inception. Since the unproven belief that attaching consequences to that externally developed achievement tests appears to still have wide support, I propose we call it that.

29. How about:

    Mass Overhaul To Holistically Edify Regulations For Universally Competitive K-12 Education Reform.

    Wait, we already use that popular acronym….

30. SSTSDM – Stop Standardized Testing So Damn Much-

    Let teachers teach to the children and not to the tests!

31. The No Child Gets Ahead Act.

    Or

    The Hail Mary With Two Seconds Left on the Clock Act…

32. How about a law that allows paddling and calling it

    No Child’s Behind Left?

33. In honor of #2 at http://snipurl.com/c1f1p …

    ASTAPS (Another Solution To A Previous Solution)

    I really like Josh D’s entry!

34. Administration, Do no Harm Damnit! (ADHD)

    Don’t Reinvent the Wheel (DRAW) Act

    And, in all seriousness,

    Strengthen the Education Pipeline

35. The Successful Schools, Successful Children Act

36. 21st Century Educational Initiatives Act

37. Ignoring the Impact of Parents and Putting the Blame on Teachers Act

    Placing blame on Teachers not Lazy Parents Act

    No Teacher Left Unjaded

    Teach to the Test Act

38. I think, if we can get his permission, we should rename it the Garrison Keillor Act. After all, NCLB is no more of a fictional construct than Lake Woebegon where “all the children are above average!”

39. A subliminal message: The CHARTER Act
    Congress Has A Responsibility To Educate Resourcefully

    Based on the President’s remarks during a recent visit to a DC public charter school, “This kind of innovative school…is an example of how all our schools should be.” (http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog_post/how_our_schools_should_be/)

40. For this cheesy concept, a cheesy name:
    FETA: Federal Education Takeover Act

41. Since the inception of the current act, we have been calling it NVLB: No Vendor Left Behind.

    I sincerely hope that, this time, the act will be about kids and schools and not about how much money there is to be made.

    Knowing Individual Development’s Significance

42. The new name for NCLB is “LIFTAC”-A Light in the Forest for All Children Act

43. Susan Ohanian has suggested “No child left unfed.”

44. how about the AGREE act – All Graduate Ready for (Higher) Education and Employment Act?

45. Every Child Left Behind Act, Teacher Burnout Act, We Be Smart Act, Promote a Dropout

46. National Testing Services Subsidy Act.
    Thinly Veiled Attempt at Totally Destroying Public Education in an Attempt to Privatize Education with Voucher Programs Act.

    Also any words to yield the acronym CRAP, HOGWASH, or WORTHLESS.

47. How about:

    No Child Left a Dime?

48. No Butt Left Uncovered

    Because that’s what NCLB turned into all too often.

49. The Education Stimulus Package

50. How about the, It’s too difficult and expensive to actually look at education as part of a matrix of injustice and inequality in all aspects of society so we’ll just pretend like education alone can solve all our problems because at least then we’re using taxpayer dollars to create a market where edupreneurs and other mouseketeers can make a buck while removing the burden of educating our children from public governance Act. Or the This School Could Be Yours Act for short (advertising). Don’t believe me, believe Susan: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1812758,00.html. Also see Cato: http://www.cato.org/pubs/pas/pa-386es.html