Why do people keep writing me emails about how they disagree with me? Clearly my ideas are a constant source of brilliance for the world and my opinions are always 100% correct and incomprehensibly well thought-out. Readers are lucky to even have me around to dish out these hot plates of sizzling fajitas made from the chicken of excellent thinking and the tortillas of hilarity!
The message, friends and neighbors: stop messing around with my deeply held beliefs!
–Guest blogger Newoldschoolteacher