A Contest! Name That Law!
United States Secretary of Education Arne Duncan has not surprisingly said that he’s open to renaming the “No Child Left Behind Act” something else. Before President Bush, for instance, the Clinton version of the law was called the “Improving America’s Schools Act.” The underlying law is the Elementary and Secondary Education Act, it’s not going anywhere but a new name is likely in the offing.
Howie Schaffer suggested that the time is now to start naming names. So let’s have a contest. The person who offers the best name, decided via a highly arbitrary process involving me and a few friends, wins a signed copy of this picture of DCPS official Justin Cohen in a really tacky frame. Runners-up get books.
February 12th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
The “Successful Schools for a Strong America Act.”
(If I win, I’m putting the picture of Justin on Ebay.)
February 12th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
It should be named Caitlin. Everybody seems to be naming things Caitlin these days. Or Caleb.
February 12th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
In homage to Japanese anime popular when Japanese pedagogical outcomes were fashionable, I propose “Read (By Scientifically Proven Methods) Or Die.”
February 12th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
The All American Chidren Are Above Average Act (AACAAAA)
Federal Aid to Schools with Handouts In Order of (FASHION)
February 12th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
The Act of Contrition.
(for non-Catholics, see Wikipedia)
February 12th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Double Back Around To Pick Up The Children We Left Behind Act
February 12th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Hey Joe
Not Caitlin.
Liang.
Because of this. http://www.treas.gov/tic/mfh.txt
February 12th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Not Even We Think This Will Work Act
Mega-sized Multiple Choice Exam Act
February 12th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Mental Asset Recovery Plan (MARP)
February 12th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
The Rearranging the Deck Chairs Act.
February 13th, 2009 at 12:34 am
The Almost Pro-Comp, Not Quite Rhee Reform, Van Roekel Palpable, No Maintenence of Effort Act.
February 13th, 2009 at 9:23 am
AARRRG!
Aligning America’s Reading, wRiting, and aRithmetic Grades
February 13th, 2009 at 10:17 am
No Child Left Untested
February 13th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Educating All Children Act
February 13th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Creating Successful Learning Environments for All Children-
CSLEFAC
All Children Can Learn – ACCL
February 13th, 2009 at 10:56 am
No Excuse Left Behind … because they’re always coming up with new ones.
February 13th, 2009 at 11:11 am
I figure the name has to get the equity, choice, and standards people on board. I also find it irritating that so few of our popular acronyms (KIPP, TFA, NEA, NCLB, etc) spell anything. So I suggest:
RACE, the Raise Achievement through Choice and Excellence Act.
February 13th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Ok i know I sort of already entered this but this one is much better:
Achieving America’s Reading, wRiting and aRithmatic Goals
AARRRG!
February 13th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Every child deserves a good education but not every child wants to go to college, special ed children get taught trades act.
February 13th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Every Opportunity to Learn Act
February 13th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Teach Every American Child (TEACh)
February 13th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
REDO: Resourcing Educational and Developmental Outcomes
BOOBIES: Bolster Outcomes and Occupational Benefits In Education Success
EEP: Educational Excellence Priorities
CREEP: Creating and Resourcing Educational Excellence Priorities
BRATS: Building Resources for American Teaching Success
February 13th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
(I really like AARRRG!)
I can’t believe I’m the first to submit this: The Elementary and Secondary Education Act.
Plain vanilla, no hyperbole, no propaganda. Nah….that’ll never fly…not in 21st century America…
February 13th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
The
Outstanding
Better
Amazing
Magnificent
Achievement
Act
February 13th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Act to Help Children Read Gooder (and do other things gooder, too)
Obama’s President Because He Got Off His A** and Worked For It, So Should You! Act
Inspired by Gladwell: The FIRED Act, Fire Incompetent, in need of Remediation EDucators.
Inspired by Gladwell: The HIRED Act, Hire Inspiring, in need of cRedentials EDucators.
In all seriousness:
BLESSED – Building Learning Environments, School by School, EDucation Act.
February 13th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Could We Start Again, Please (CWSAP)
February 13th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I vote for Tyler.
February 15th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
We have been calling it No Child Left Untested since it inception. Since the unproven belief that attaching consequences to that externally developed achievement tests appears to still have wide support, I propose we call it that.
February 15th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
How about:
Mass Overhaul To Holistically Edify Regulations For Universally Competitive K-12 Education Reform.
Wait, we already use that popular acronym….
February 16th, 2009 at 9:18 am
SSTSDM – Stop Standardized Testing So Damn Much-
Let teachers teach to the children and not to the tests!
February 16th, 2009 at 11:25 am
The No Child Gets Ahead Act.
Or
The Hail Mary With Two Seconds Left on the Clock Act…
February 16th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
How about a law that allows paddling and calling it
No Child’s Behind Left?
February 17th, 2009 at 4:35 am
In honor of #2 at http://snipurl.com/c1f1p …
ASTAPS (Another Solution To A Previous Solution)
I really like Josh D’s entry!
February 17th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Administration, Do no Harm Damnit! (ADHD)
Don’t Reinvent the Wheel (DRAW) Act
And, in all seriousness,
Strengthen the Education Pipeline
February 17th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
The Successful Schools, Successful Children Act
February 18th, 2009 at 9:19 am
21st Century Educational Initiatives Act
February 19th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Ignoring the Impact of Parents and Putting the Blame on Teachers Act
Placing blame on Teachers not Lazy Parents Act
No Teacher Left Unjaded
Teach to the Test Act
February 19th, 2009 at 10:35 am
I think, if we can get his permission, we should rename it the Garrison Keillor Act. After all, NCLB is no more of a fictional construct than Lake Woebegon where “all the children are above average!”
February 19th, 2009 at 11:39 am
A subliminal message: The CHARTER Act
Congress Has A Responsibility To Educate Resourcefully
Based on the President’s remarks during a recent visit to a DC public charter school, “This kind of innovative school…is an example of how all our schools should be.” (http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog_post/how_our_schools_should_be/)
February 19th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
For this cheesy concept, a cheesy name:
FETA: Federal Education Takeover Act
February 19th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Since the inception of the current act, we have been calling it NVLB: No Vendor Left Behind.
I sincerely hope that, this time, the act will be about kids and schools and not about how much money there is to be made.
Knowing Individual Development’s Significance
February 22nd, 2009 at 12:23 am
The new name for NCLB is “LIFTAC”-A Light in the Forest for All Children Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 2:09 am
Susan Ohanian has suggested “No child left unfed.”
February 22nd, 2009 at 4:24 pm
how about the AGREE act – All Graduate Ready for (Higher) Education and Employment Act?
February 22nd, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Every Child Left Behind Act, Teacher Burnout Act, We Be Smart Act, Promote a Dropout
February 22nd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
National Testing Services Subsidy Act.
Thinly Veiled Attempt at Totally Destroying Public Education in an Attempt to Privatize Education with Voucher Programs Act.
Also any words to yield the acronym CRAP, HOGWASH, or WORTHLESS.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
How about:
No Child Left a Dime?
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:06 pm
No Butt Left Uncovered
Because that’s what NCLB turned into all too often.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:08 pm
The Education Stimulus Package
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
How about the, It’s too difficult and expensive to actually look at education as part of a matrix of injustice and inequality in all aspects of society so we’ll just pretend like education alone can solve all our problems because at least then we’re using taxpayer dollars to create a market where edupreneurs and other mouseketeers can make a buck while removing the burden of educating our children from public governance Act. Or the This School Could Be Yours Act for short (advertising). Don’t believe me, believe Susan: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1812758,00.html. Also see Cato: http://www.cato.org/pubs/pas/pa-386es.html
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:11 pm
The Child-Propulsion Act
Take your pick, jet engine or propeller. (Sorry, it’s not supposed to sound like children are propelling something. That would be child labor!)
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
How about the, Let’s Tell Everyone They’re Going to College Even If They’re Not Qualified Act?
Or, Drive Every Teacher Out (who has) eXperience?
Or how about some training in basic mathematical concepts, such as the fact that “average” means that MANY PEOPLE WILL BE ON THE LOWER END OF THE SCALE – hence the term “average.” We need a mass refresher on mean, median, and mode!
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Another Administration, Another Education Act Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Unable to Count the Children Left Behind Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Some Adult Right Ahead
(sort of flips the phrase word by word, and has a nice ring to it)
Personally, as a private school teacher I loved “No Child Left Behind” since it allowed me to make the joke: “I teach at private school. We’re allowed to leave children behind.”
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Ack, The Mess Bush Left Behind.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Federal Dollars for Scholars Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Weapons of Mass Education Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Advocate Bland Curriculum (Our new ‘ABC’s)
Every Test Left Behind
Education Testing Companies Left Behind
All Testing Company Profits Spent on Education
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:22 pm
How about the Hire Teachers Who Know A Goddamned Thing Or Two Besides Pedagogy and Hoopjumping Act (HTWKAGTOTWPHA)? No?
OK, how about the Cry As China Leaves Us In the Dust Act? (CACLUDS?)
Maybe the Remedial Bachelor’s Degree Act.
Or the Never Come Near My Child With A Calculator Again Act.
As the parent of a kindergartner, I’m more & more in favor of the Hand Over the Per-Cap Money to the Parents So We Can Educate Them Act. Yes, i know NCLB gets there eventually, but it takes too goddamned long.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:26 pm
Study Abroad in China Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Actually, I like each of these better:
Yes Adult Right Ahead.
or
Yes-Man Right Ahead.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:28 pm
No Crony Left Behind
Since NCLB was instituted, the standardized testing edifice [cronies of gov't bureaucrats?] in USA has gone from a 1 billion a year to a 10 billion a year industry. Zo, government is smaller, but TESTINK iss beeger! And who paid for all that increase? Hahahaha! School Districts, that’s who! Hahahaha. Only, nobody gave them any more money to do it with and so what did they do? They scaled back elsewhere. Where would that be? In the classroom: larger class sizes, fewer teachers per student. Ain’t it great? Are we not the smartest people on the EARTH? Hahahaha.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:30 pm
How about Every Child Held Back?
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Renaming the No Child Left Behind Act is retarded. In that spirit, I offer my two suggestions:
Because Americans Really All Care for Kids (BARACK)
Offspring Benefits Are More-or-less Affordable (OBAMA)
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Texas Two-Step & Textbbook Lobby Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Bankers to Teachers Rehabilitation Program
Provision 1: Double teacher salaries
Provision 2: Remove teacher certification requirements
Provision 3: Hazard pay for teaching underprivileged schools
Provision 4: Keep bonuses under $18 billion
It might just work…
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
How about:
“The Unfunded Mandates Statistically Impossible Goals Act” ?
“Testing Companies Financial Enrichment Act” ?
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:42 pm
I submit that a supplementary HWH ‘Homeschool without Houses’ Act may also be both necessary & appropriate.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Equality in Education Act (aka The Level Playing Field Act)
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Education is a Local Responsibility Act or
No Constitutional Responsibility for Administering this Program (NoCRAP).
Just like every most federal program…feed it dollars, make more paperwork, employ more workers, degrade the final product.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Educate the Educatable and Leave the Rest Behind
Seriously. Leave them behind. They don’t want to be in school anyway. Let them go learn a trade or work at walmart or an equally mindless job (congress? Alaska governor?).
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:46 pm
eEach eChild eWill eSucceed eAct
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 pm
No School Left Standing
(because you can’t possibly get better every year)
No Time to Teach–We’re Busy Testing Act
Let’s Gut This Act and Really Support Education in America
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Everybody Make Chicken Salad Although Some of You Only Get Chicken S**t Act (And No, We Don’t Fund Mayo or Celery)
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:47 pm
How about the….
Yes-We-Can Educate Children Act
Or…
The No More C-Students as President Act
Or, to answer 43′s verbatim question, posed January 11, 2000, in Florence, SC: “Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?”, the…
Yes, Our Children is Finally Learning Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Classroom Size Improvment Act (CSIA), to prepare our failing students for overcroded jails act JSIA, brought to you by Numbskulls in Government who want to Provide a Cheap but Worthless Camera Opportunity NGPCWCO, or “W” for short.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:56 pm
The Pols are Your Pals Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Empowered Learners’ Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Where Have the Good Teacher’s Gone
After years of excessive regulations and testing that have eroded the essence of the great American classroom, THEY HAVE LEFT the profession.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:59 pm
I propose the “Don’t Task, Don’t Fail” Act.
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Long ago I was taught the Septic Tank Rule. School District Administrations adhere strictly to the rule. Just Like Septic Tanks, in School Districts the “poop” floats to the top (and stays there stinking). (This rule was shared by a Vice-Principal, great guy, who didn’t last long.). In that spirit, I propose:
Schools Essentially Perpetually Teaching Idiotic Content and Testing All Nonsense Knowledge ACT.
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Funding Opportunity and Potential in Our Children Education Act….
FOPCA? Na….
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Robin Hood Act
Take resources from the gifted, give to the dim witted.
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:08 pm
As an alternative iEach iChild iWill iSucceed iAct
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:09 pm
I propose:
Enrich The Test Publishers While Bankrupting Schools Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:10 pm
The Tale of Sound and Fury Signifiying Nothing Act
(Also known as the Macbeth Initiative)
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Teach Each Child to Weed N’ Wite as Good as “W” Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Fancy Formula For Failure FFFF or 4F
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Equal Opportunity Education EOE
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:17 pm
What it will continue to be:
DADA: Dumb America Down Act
What I wish it were:
Love to Learn Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Adults Fiddle While Children Act
“Children, stop your nurses!” -Don Van Vliet
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:18 pm
I always thought the original act should have been called “No One Child Left Behind”.
How about simply “We Owe Kids A Better Education Act”?
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
The “Everyone is an expert in education except teachers act”
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:23 pm
The Sarah Palin Slipped Through the Cracks Literacy Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:25 pm
It should be:
One Size Fits All
Because whether a child trips on it because it’s too long, or his or her belly shows because it is too short, it’s the best possible way to cover a child- in all seasons too!
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:28 pm
If You Are Smarter Than a Bush You Pass Act
The Average IQ is 100 Act
Your Teacher is Tired of Trying to Figure Out How the F*** Not to Leave You Behind While Everyone Else is Bored Silly and Learning Nothing Act
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:38 pm
Hope It Creates An Intelligent Majority Act (HICAMA)
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:38 pm
NO CHILD’S BEHIND LEFT
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:54 pm
SMARTER
Senseless Measures of Arithmetic, Reading and Teaching in lieu of Education Reform
February 22nd, 2009 at 11:59 pm
Each Child Shows Less Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:05 am
Thinking Optional Act
360 Act- Because we’re right back where we started
Delusional Reductive Un-acheivable Goals act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:08 am
Left Child Behind, Oh No! Act
First Their Left Behind, Then Their Right One Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:15 am
Someone already mentioned Garrison Keillor; what about
The Lake Woebegon Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 am
Growth/Relevance/Ability/Support/Promise Act (GRASP)
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 am
Your kid’s stupid , but we’ll pass him anyway.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 am
Shortchanging education, here’s what George Bush said:
“No child is left benind if no child can get ahead!”
Let’s call it the Relief for Bushed Schools Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:29 am
A Priest-run Catholic School Program:
Leave no Child’s Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:32 am
I like “How Are We Going to Get These Kids’ Test Scores Up? Act.” I seem to hear this every day I’m at school; it must be the unofficial name for something.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:34 am
How ’bout “Nobody Wants to Admit That Their Kids Are Stupid or Are Suffering From Their Parents’ Batterings by the Misfortunes of Life or Poor Lifestyle Choices, So Lets Blame It All on the Teachers and Administrators Act”?
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:34 am
How about:
“Mandatory Redacting of All Baby-Boomers Rebranding of the Appropriately-Named ‘Elementary and Secondary Education Act’”
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:41 am
Yes, Child, We’re Behind (Get Moving!) Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:01 am
No Child Allowed to Rise Above Mediocrity Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:26 am
Don’t worry, you won’t be able to afford college anyway act
DWYWBATACAA
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:41 am
“Reach Out And Test Someone” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:42 am
Not Yet Smarter Than a Fifth Grader (NYSTFG)
We’re Coming For You, Japan (WCFYJ)
Tropicana’s: The Juice is Worth the Read (TTJWR)
These Color’s Don’t Run (from Calculus) (TCDRC)
Keep Our Daughters Off the Pole Act of 2009 (KODOPA)
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 am
Never Mind Child Behind Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:58 am
Hey, Teacher, Leave Those Kids Behind Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:04 am
Smarty Pants or Clever Skirt for Every Child Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:24 am
STOP: Support Teachers and Open Pedagogy Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:29 am
SEA — Standardize Everything Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:31 am
Some kids should be left behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:47 am
Stop the Kids at the Top Act; Only the Kids at the Bottom Count Act; Only the Testmakers Win Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:52 am
Intelligent Design Invades Our Teaching act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:59 am
No Child Left With Funding
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:26 am
Grading On The Curve Of The Curve Wink Wink Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:29 am
The Who In Their Right Mind Would Go Into Teaching Now Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:56 am
The Every Child Takes It In The Behind act
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:02 am
Another Form of Corporal Punishment on Their Behinds
A College Major in Test-Taking Can’t Be Far Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:29 am
Whatever happens, the kids will lose their butts, so “No Child Left with a Behind”.
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:37 am
Eight Years of Education – What did you learn?
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:44 am
How about calling it the “Making Johnny and Suzie Study as Europeans Do Will Ruin their Childhoods, So Let’s Stay Mediocre” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:16 am
The Real Effort to Make Education Meaningful, Broadening, Enlightening, and Relevant Act (REMEMBER Act)
The “Politicians Who Say They’re in Favor of Education, But Just Not Paying For It” Accountability Act
The “Ignorance is Bliss, Don’t Worry Be Happy” Act
The “If You Think That Education Costs Too Much, Try Ignorance” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:24 am
No Standardized Test Left Behind
or
Standardized Testing Company Federal Bailout Relief Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:27 am
The No Child Can Get Ahead Lest Anyone Be Left Behind Act
The Let’s All Feel Good While Solving Nothing Act
The Let The Only Kid Who Fails Hurt the School District Act
The Standardized Test Tampering Promotion Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:38 am
The “dumb it down” and fall behind Asia Act!
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:47 am
Replace Education with Testing Act
Out with Educational Philosophy Act
Teacher-Proof Micro-Education Act
Stunt Brain Development and Waste Lots of Money Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:54 am
No Administrator Left Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:56 am
The “Yo, We Gotta Take Another Test” Act.
“Lets Boor the Shit Out of the Kids by Teaching for the Test Act”
“Republicans Against Free Thought in Education Act”. or just the “Republicans Against Public Education Act” for short.
How about “Let’s Gut the Public Education System so the Wealthy Won’t Have to Pay Poor Children to Learn Act”. or “If the Public Schools Fail We Can Justify the Voucher Act and Freely Teach Creationism Act, Act”
My best one is “Dampen Independent Thought In Education So the Class of 2012 Can Help Put the Republicans Back in the White House Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:02 am
How about naming it for the letter sent to the parents of the kids who failed the test…
YO Child Left Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:09 am
The Voucher-Readiness Act
The Teacher Held Hostage Act
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Act
The Consumers of Tomorrow Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:10 am
TESTES: The Educational Standardized Test Enforcement System.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:14 am
Educating Our Future Act (EOFA)
or
Educating The Future Act (ETFA)
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:19 am
BTPRDWWTBWHOF Act
Bleed Teachers Personal Resources Dry While Walking Tightrope Blindfolded With Hair on Fire Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:21 am
The Eyes Down, Pencils Up Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:26 am
The dumbasses of tomorrow act.
We learn gooder and bestest act.
Students and Teachers Understanding and Pursuing Intelligent Development. (S.T.U.P.I.D)
The I can’t learn so I’ll join the military act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:34 am
How about the no idiot, who probably has never actually read the act, left without his thumb where it shouldn’t be (behind) while children are actually being left behind act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:39 am
We should increase the physical education requirements for kids and rename it, “No Child With a Big Behind.”
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:45 am
We don’t want an education system that makes our schools palaces of learning that install the joy of gaining knowledge. That would cost too much. Remember taxes? We just want day care. So clearly, we should call it:
Day Care R Us Act
or
We Can’t Do It Better But We Can Do It Cheaper Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:51 am
How about ” All Children Are Created Equal Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 am
For years Jerry Pournelle (science fiction writer) and his wife, Roberta (educator) have referred to this act as the “No Child Allowed Ahead” act. Which has been true, the gifted and most intelligent children were forced to remain behind as more assets were thrown at those children unable or unwilling to learn.
So instead of renaming the act, let’s reaim the act. Promoting learning, true learning in the place of tests, standards and rankings. Giving those who want to learn an environment to learn in. Giving those who have problems attention as well, but not at the expense of those who will be potentially our future doctors, scientists and explorers.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:10 am
How about the Test Them Till They Drop (4TD) Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:12 am
I believe that ‘No Child Left Behind’ should be not only renamed, but also restructured. The name I’d prefer, after much disappointment with how it has affected the education of school-aged children, is spurred by the result of not only my son’s lack of services, but thousands upon thousands of other children’s neglect as well. I would love to hear the name: PROGRESS FOR ALL. I believe still that NO child should be left behind. In following that respect for students who aren’t at grade appropriate levels, they should be focused on to better their education and retentions of their studies. Students much like my son COULD HAVE benefited from EARLY TESTING of higher abilities that, again, COULD HAVE been even further advanced. I was all for this program since the first utterances with the general public; I was highly DISENCHANTED when it came time for my son to begin his public schooling. I was told that there just wasn’t funding as much as had been available when I was school-aged for those who had more advanced perception and abilities. There were plenty of resources to help with the speech issue he had, but nothing to keep him encouraged and eager to be in his schools’ classrooms, learning new thoughts/ideas/facts, PROGRESSING. With his ever-slacking interest in his classrooms he began to have behavior issues especially in times where he was ‘Held-At-Bay’ in a classroom which other children weren’t ‘Left Behind.’ I know yet that my son is still very much intelligent, but the margins have only narrowed more and more each year between himself and his ‘age’ peers. The funding for schools to offer services THROUGHOUT the spectrum of ALL students’ abilities NEEDS TO BE REVISITED. Let’s be fair to ALL students.
Respectfully,
M.Dundas
Alaska
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:28 am
“Striving for Mediocrity in the Brave New Century” or “Let No Gifted Get Ahead”
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:29 am
Children’s Recovery Action Plan
Better known as the CRAP act!
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:29 am
we’ve had the
Big Brother Educational Improvement Act
aka
Brave New Mass Education Act
could be it’s time for the
Student Potential Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:34 am
B.U.L.L. Bureaucrats Unite to Level Learning
D.I.P.S. Destroy the Institution of Public Education
I.D.I.O.T. Ignore Dependable Input of Teachers
from a 25+ year veteran teacher who left public schools for private many years ago, as will all the children whose parents have any sense and can afford to do so unless they are lucky enough to land scholarships
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:37 am
Every child left behind can become a congressman.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:37 am
Public Integrity and Liability Enforcement of Corruption Reform in Public Schools Act, known as the “PILE Of CRAP”.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:38 am
A Rose is Still A Rose Even When It Stink Act
There are far too many problem inherent in this bill to simply think that a name change will solve the problem. The idea of leaving no child behind is a lovely bumper sticker with an ugly reality. Let’s start over.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:44 am
Can we now take a swipe at other federal legislation like child support, child abuse protection and treatment and adoption and safe families? Those also deserve new names.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:47 am
I submit:
GLOMPF
BLORCHER
SKIBLOOMDORD
I think they pretty much speak for themselves.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:47 am
We’ve always called it the No Child Left Alone Act. Best thing you could do with that bugger is SCRAP IT.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:48 am
The way it works now, it should be known as
No child held accountable
or maybe
No child left behind, even if they can’t read, write or do arithmetic
or simply
YAK
You Are Kidding
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:50 am
INSANITY
Per the Einstein quote, by definition.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:01 am
I am a trauma therapist – My bumper sticker reads:
LEAVE NO INNER CHILD BEHIND
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:02 am
Test-publisher’s stimulus package
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:07 am
A good aim and a name to match would be the Help Education Work Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:09 am
No Teacher Left Standing Act
No Parent Held Accountable Act
No Student Left Really Responsible Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:11 am
Why Bother with Depth of Knowledge…We Can Choose the Correct Bubble Answer Act
The Death of Creativity and Innovation in America Act
Teach Only Until the Test is Taken – What Else Remains to Learn? Act
Excelling Students are not Challenged Act
Don’t just rename the act – change it. Bring back the love of learning to our country.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:14 am
Retroactive Education Funding Upgrade Challenge or REFUC
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:18 am
Learning By Rote Instead of Teaching to Critically Think Act. Sheeple instead of rebels of which we are in dire need. The last thing is we need right now is more of then same to run this country!
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:21 am
reapply the act to address proper dress code : ” no child’s left behind”
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:30 am
Quality Education Directive (Q.E.D.)
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:33 am
“What’s in a name? A rose by any other…” Shakespeare’s words ring true in this inane re-naming process. Who cares what you call it-it doesn’t work. Don’t rename it, revise it so that better qualified teachers are encouraged to go back to teaching. Perhaps children would acquire the skills they need to move on if we weren’t scraping the bottom of the educational barrel for teachers by paying them poorly. Why test kids if all teaching is doing is preparing them to pass tests. This type of teaching doen’t mean a thing. How about: EDUCATE – or Every Dollar Used Can Attract Teachers to Educate.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:40 am
In addition to not leaving any students behind, the program needs to focus on pushing all students ahead so that our country is not left behind on the international level. So I suggest the following name:
No Country Left Behind, especially US.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:47 am
Some suggestions:
Vilify Teachers/Lobotomize Students Act
A School Is Only As Good As the Students Who Go There Act
What Would Socrates Do? Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:52 am
Think positively but realistically: “Mind the Gap”
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:54 am
Renaming this ridiculous act that poses to serve our children will just be calling it another name. We need to get rid of it. Until then – I will continue to call it the “No Child Allowed Ahead Act.”
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:57 am
“Every Child Left to Find a Job Act”
“No Teacher Left Unchallenged”
“No Standard Left Unproposed”
English should not be overemphasized in favor of Asian and South American dialects.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:58 am
The “Is Our Children Learning?” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:01 am
The Learn How to Talk American Real Good Act
The No. 2 Pencil Manufacturer Stimulus Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 am
How about “Knowledge for Life” as the new name? The basics in education are certainly critical, but the education system needs to deliver young adults ready to confront the realities of building a successful life with the tools and understanding necessary for making moral choices and contributing to our nation.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:06 am
Reinventing the Wheel and Throwing Good Money After Bad Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:10 am
“Universal Access for Stupidity” Act
“Reading First, Last, and All Day Long” (Math optional) Act
“Focus on the Lows and Slows, Ignore all Others” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:11 am
All American children are above average sound good to me.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:12 am
One and only one name will do. There are, in fact, several acts passed by Congress since its inception in the late 1700′s that could be lumped under this name. The name points directly to the fact that the US Congress is and always has been owned and operated by agents of commerce and the acts they have passed clearly reflect this condition. I propose the “All People Left Behind” act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:14 am
Since the tests that resulted from the NCLB act are not helping the students, and not used to winnow out bad teachers, I proposed the law be named after it’s real use: the JREP act. Standing for the Justify Real Estate Prices act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:15 am
“No nutty education reform idea left behind.”
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:19 am
The Ignoramus Sheducation Act!
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:21 am
Keep the smart kids behind act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:27 am
No Millionaire Left Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:28 am
The Disenfranchisement Panacea Act (DPA)
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:31 am
Why does it need to have a name. If you want the controversy to go away, don’t give it a name. Or name it something completely boring, like 2009 Education Act. Name it something that people like some of those who have posted here can’t make fun of, something the newspapers cannot be ‘witty’ about.
Or go the other way entirely and find a poster child. Find a child who has benefited from this law. Name it after him, something like Eddie’ Education Act. Or possibly a poster with several children of different races and name it Go To College Act, or Yes We Can Act (hinting to Obama’s campaign).
But honestly, the NCLB law isn’t working. It is a fiasco as was the administration that created it. I say scrap it and start fresh with ideas there weren’t pulled out of someone’s ….”sleeve”.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:31 am
No! Child left behind?
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:31 am
The problem is to get the reality of the program in line with it’s name. Here’s the simplest solution:
No child left behind; no child moving forward
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:33 am
Why, exactly, is the Federal Government in the education business in the first place? Why are our federal tax dollars being used to fund what are ultimately state or local programs? State governments have a repsonsibility not only to educate to broadly agreed learning standards, but also to teach students critical thinking. Parents have a responsibility to demonstrate that education is valued in the home, and to model that valuation for their children. Without those, all is lost, and we better learn Chinese. Therefore, the act needs to be re-aimed, as well as re-named.
So, let’s call it – the “Parents are Teachers, Too Act”, and fund state programs that demonstratively improve critical thinking.
Perhaps, since we are bailing out the testing companies, let’s at least get some value for that by testing both at the beginning and at the end of each school year, and fire the teachers (and students!) who can’t or don’t bother to improve. If kids are not able/willing to learn in school, perhaps they need a different path toward self-sufficiency. If nothing else, that will motivate the participation of lots of parents angry that their child is being thrown out of school. Maybe they can learn to be empowered. We can call it the “Freedom Must be Learned and Earned Act”
Or else, just admit what we’re doing and call it the “How to Lie With Statistics Act”.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:35 am
Every Child Right On Track
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:37 am
Harrison Bergeron Act (after the sci-fi short story)
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:41 am
Standarized Tests Are A Joke Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:41 am
Open Source Education ACT based on Accountability, Collaboration, and Transparency
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:46 am
No Teachers Are Qualified in Low-Income Districts So The Children Get Left Behind Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:47 am
The “Flush Education Down the Toilet Act”
or “Some Children Really Should Be Left Behind Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:47 am
The No More Dubyas Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:50 am
Darn you, Julie Dalley!! You beat me to it!!
I’ve been calling it “No child gets ahead” since Christ was a Corporal.
Something new… How about the YACUD Act? “Yet Another Congressional Utopian Dream”. (and interchangeable with “Yet Another Congressional Utopian Disaster”, depending on which side of the fence you sit on!)
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:50 am
“No Culture Left Blooming” Act. This both recognizes NCLB’s impact on the arts and saves money in an economic downturn by keeping the existing acronym.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:51 am
Be Kinder to the Behinder
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:53 am
the No Teacher Left Standing act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:56 am
A colleague of mine suggested a long time ago the “No Child’s Behind Left Untested” act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:07 am
NCLB should incorporate two new phases..
1. AXED?…. Any eXtra crEDit?
2. COP..MAP..GAA! Cut Out Pictures. Make A Poster. Get An A!
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:10 am
Has anyone thought, in the midst of all this clamor, that maybe Jonathan Swift was right?
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:10 am
The name does not need to be changed, only to refocus on the original purpose of the act. This is another Civil Rights type problem, only now the purpose is equality of funding for all schools to teach our children.
Original act was:
“The law dates to 1965, when Congress passed it to channel federal money to poor children in the war on poverty, calling it the Elementary and Secondary Education Act.” (NYTimes)
Names like:
Curb Children Imagination and Curiosity Act
Government Always Stifling Teachers Act
(or)
“No Child Left Behind”
accomplish NOTHING! Lise Quinn in the above post has very good ideas.
Let the teachers teach, but give all schools equal means to do it!
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:12 am
How about “HOW TO Ruin Public Education in America Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:12 am
You Can Test ‘Em All You Want To, But You Can’t Make ‘Em Think Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:12 am
I’ve been personally calling it “Mo Childs Left Behind”. I enjoy dialects and I thought changing two letters to make the meaning opposite of the original namer’s intent was kind of witty. I’ve been told it is racist. I don’t know why, it’s just playing with sounds. In fact, children of all races and needs are left behind. It’s an equal lack-of-opportunity act. Maybe the “don’t think about education that makes sense and make a ton of money on testing” act? Oh wait, that’s too many letters…
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:20 am
“No child left behind; no child moving forward” – is a good idea. It summarizes the best intention of education act. They really don’t want children lagging in education, but there is no intetion to allow smart children to realize their potential.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:20 am
By concentrating on the slow children, the top students are being unchallenged — if they can pass the base “competence” level, they’re ignored. Kind of dumb, if you ask me — the people who make this country great are the smart ones who thrive on challenges. But due to this law, they’re not getting what they need. That’s how you train slackers.
So I call it the “NCAA” act — No Child Allowed Ahead.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:28 am
No Child Steps Out of Line. Originally called “No Child Moves Ahead” in our community, because the act appeals to the lowest common denominator and holds the stronger students back while waiting for others to catch up.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:36 am
No Child Allowed Ahead
Has the exact same meaning as the real name.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:38 am
HOW ABOUT “THE PUBLIC EDUCATION ‘HAIL MARY PASS’ ACT?” With the birthrate increasing exponentially and zero hope of reversing that any time this century; under-educated out-of-work parents swamped by the stress of their own financial problems and busy watching “American Idol;” tax revenues down everywhere; school systems everywhere out of money; gangs and drugs infiltrating classrooms everywhere; the religious freaks trying to ban science and re-write the curriculuum, it will take divine intervention to save public education in America. Q: Is there even a celestial superhero willing to listen? And if there is, can she respond in time for today’s kindergartener to graduate in 12 years knowing how to read?
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:40 am
No Child Behind Left
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:42 am
This is a serious entry. One of the choices for what became NCLB was:
One Child at a Time
This gets to the heart of the biggest problem of NCLB: AYP is pegged to a grade level, so that year to year comparisons are between completely different kids. This is crazy.
Kids should be tracked individually, and results applied to the school atteneded and teachers they have. I’ve read some reports from the stimulus bill that individual tracking is getting started. But will it be applied to AYP and thus sanctions? I hope so.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:44 am
Side by Side Act………………
Bring them Along Act………..
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:45 am
SEFAA – Self Esteem For All Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:54 am
How about, “No Child Left Ahead?”
Because that’s exactly what it is doing. By dumbing down the classroom material to reach the lower level students we are then by doing a disservice to those students who thrive in the classroom. To think that all students will all be able to reach a certain level, by a set specific time in their development is a utopianism, and will not amount to much other than highly qualified teachers loosing their jobs due to insufficient standardized test grades. Boo to this act! I believe we should go back to how it was, you learned because you wanted to not because it was forced.
But whatever, I’m, “old school”. . . And I’m only 23
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:59 am
Every Child Deserves an A Act
(A winner with our child worshiping patents)
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:00 am
School Children Having Only Outstanding Learning Experiences Act (SCHOOL Experiences Act)
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:05 am
“Leave no child with a fat behind.”
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:05 am
Not the most clever, but puts the two most popular buzz-words together
Raising the Bar and Holding Educators Accountable Act
RBHEAA
or, in honor of Sarah Palin
The Test Baby Test! Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:07 am
How about:
The Kurt Vonnegut Between Time and Timbuktu Act (I’m thinking of the
ballet sequence here…)
The Let’s All Strive for Mediocrity Act
The Let’s Ignore Those with Special Needs Act
The Swell the Enrollment at Private Schools Act
The George W. Bush’s Only Enduring Legacy and It Sucks Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:09 am
EIEO: Education Is Equal Opportunity Act
AKAD: Access to Knowledge Access to Democracy Act
AMS: Abolish Mental Slavery Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:10 am
The “Do-Over” act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:10 am
Every Child Deserves a Chance
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 am
The No Public School Left Law
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 am
The “No Child Left Behind Unless They’re In A Poor School District” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:21 am
RATFinK – The Remove All That’s Fun in Knowledge Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:23 am
In the wake of W., what else can you rename “No Child Left Behind” but…
“No Adult Left Ahead”
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:23 am
No High Achieving Student Given Enough Resources To Lead The Way
No School Board Left Alone
No Union Contract Steroid-ed Up With Health Benefits That Began Disappearing From The Rest Of The World 15 Years Ago And Are Basically Gone Now Left Unmodified
No Negligent Parent Left Unshamed
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:23 am
the Teaching Initiative To Advance National Investment in Children (TITANIC)
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:30 am
I’ve always thought a more appropriate name would be:
“No Child Gets Ahead.”
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:30 am
“The NEA Has to Learn to Read First Act” because it imposes accountability on teachers, which is anathema to the union.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:30 am
The “Band-Aid act” or the “Blame the Teacher’s” act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:32 am
Suggested by a friend who designs tests for a living…
No Psychometrician Left Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:33 am
The Dog Ate My Homeworl Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:35 am
Sorry… The Dog Ate My Homework Act…..
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 am
In a tribute to W lets call it “No Child Has a Chance”.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:45 am
America Learning Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:46 am
The “They Were Here a Minute Ago” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:47 am
The Schools are for Testing, Not for Learning Act
The Let’s Catch Up With the Rest of the World By Throwing Out Creativity, the One Thing We Were Good At Act
The Hold Administrators Accountable by Allowing them to Blame Someone Else Act
The Criticize, Don’t Fix Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:47 am
Dumbing of America (DOA)
(tried for DUH acronym,but…)
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:49 am
(I picked this up along the years…) Test them ’til There’s No Behind Left (TTNBL) Act
Stupid Politicians Intensify Testing (SH*T) Act
Another Uninformed Policy to Dumb-down America (AUPDA) Act
My Daughter Gets Stomach Pains before Testing (MDGSPT) Act
Cui Bono? the Follow the Dollar Signs in Education (FDSE) Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:50 am
W, Please Stay in Crawford Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:51 am
A shout out to the video game set:
“All Your Children Are Belong To Us.”
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_your_base_are_belong_to_us)
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:53 am
We Should Have (and Did, Actually) Leave You Behind in 2000 Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:53 am
test our kids to death act
rote memorization act
i loved teach to the test act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:55 am
In keeping with the federal government’s fetish for acronyms, call it the Developing Underachieving Minds, Broadly Assessing Student Skills (or DUMBASS) Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:55 am
No Child Left Behind…to have sex with the teacher.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
The “Go Head, Fire Me!” Act
Make Children Hate School Act
Make Teachers Hate School Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:08 pm
During the Bush Administration, it might have been more appropriate to call it “No Child Left a Dime.”
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:08 pm
The Let’s Review Federalism Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Kiss My Neo-Conservative Left Behind Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:15 pm
“No Child Left Behind Act” is an anagram of “Fetch Child to Bin Laden”.
Coincidence? I think not.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:16 pm
The President Zoolander Program For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:16 pm
leave no child’s behind act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Profits Over Learning In Testing Imperative Curriculum Standards.
POLITICS for short.
Or we could just call it the Marketization of Public Education.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Your Child Just Caught Up Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
The Have Nothing to do with Learning but Teach to The Test and Determine Real Estate Values Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
No Child Left with Recess Act
A Test A Day Sends the Teachers Away
Kill All the Trees Act (KAT Act)
Teachers Resent Ur Stupid Test Act (TRUST)
Thank God I Have No Children Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
With apologies to Bono…..
Every time I clap my hands, a child in the United States gets tested
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Students Making a Real Try (SMART Act)
Starts with the student and doesn’t leave the Art out!!!
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:36 pm
The Princeton Review Stimulus Package
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Guaranteed Employment for Statisticians and Test Designers Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
The We’ve Subsidized All the Wrong People to Breed and Now We Expect Their Children To Succeed ? Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Telling Us What We Don’t Want to Know Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:39 pm
How about “No Child Left A Mind”?
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:40 pm
The (not so)Troubled Schools Relief Program Act
The Eventually Leave Every Child Behind act
The Obama beats Bush Education Act
Education (double)Standards Act
kill childhood Act
ps The Multiple entries in one post Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Acronyms even the kids can connect with.
Officially Mandated Governmental Learning Ordinance Legislation act (OMG! LOL act)
Re-Organize Teaching Fundamentals and Lessons act (ROTFL)
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Why not just let Pearson name it whatever they want? They’re the ones that make all the money off of it anyway! And then, while they’re at it, let them figure out how we can possibly educate all of the OOPS (out of placement students).
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Is Wal-Mart Hiring Act
How Do You Spell Education Act
Whatever, Act
(more specific) Whatever Dude, Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Testable Learning Act: Because if it can’t be quantified, it can’t be taught
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
The I’m Sorry You Weren’t Born in Japan, Son Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
How about the
Dumb Down Our Kids Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 12:53 pm
The “THANK GOD I RETIRED FROM TEACHING BEFORE ALL THIS BULLSHIT STARTED!” Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Some proposals.
Variations on familiar acronyms:
Education Reduction Act (ERA)
Set Aside Thinking (SAT)
Testing Industry Advancement Act (TIAA)
Transform Education to Silly Testing (TEST)
Or
Everyone’s an Educator Now
to accompany:
No One’s a Banker Now
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:03 pm
The George W. Bush I don’t want any kids to end up like me Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:03 pm
We must honor the Republican roots of this legislation; I would suggest
“No Rothschild Left Behind”
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
How about “No Child Left with a Dime”
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Every Teacher Left Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
The ‘No Child Out in Front” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
In reference to the testing, my mom and her school have been calling it
No Tree Left Uncut
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Equal Access to Education for All Children
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Is Our Children Learning Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
ABC Act – Advancing Backwards Children Act
CACA Act – Can’t Add, Can’t Audit Act
TP Act – Totalitarian Preparedness Act
Take your pick, they all fit. Shame really. Educate yourselves continuously via non mainstream (conglomerate) resources. Otherwise you’re simply wasting your time.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Is The Bums Studying (ITBS)
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
The emperor Has No Clothes Act
(THNC A)
Strangely enough, all multiple choice tests will be required to have at least 70% of its answers be A. Students who don’t care can then pass and make the administration and the state and congress look good without wasting the educator’s time. The educators will of course recognize the ridiculousness of this but keep their mouths shut in fear of ruining the illusion.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Re: Today’s NYT Letters Page:
I wurked hard, I dezerve an A+ evin though I don’t no the stuff….
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
How about RCD: Rot-est Common Denominator
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:28 pm
The “We Phailed Are Kidz Act.”
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Not Another Testing Experience!
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 pm
The Small Coats for Big Kids Act Or The Big Coats for Small Kids Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Possibility 1: National Curriculum for Test Taking at the Expense of Math/Science/Grammar/History to Preserve Federal Funding Act
Possibility 2: Minimal Effort Education Reform Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Call it what it is:
the No Child Left Unharmed Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:33 pm
“What is so irrational about believing that hard work should warrant a high grade?” (NYT Letters Page)
The Aimee La Fountain Act (ALFA)?
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Teach to the Test not what matters to get through life act
Who is the important victor act.
I really like
Teach to the Test Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:43 pm
The Misunderestimated Child Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:44 pm
To us this has become the:
No Child Allowed Ahead Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Many of the highly talented and dedicated teachers I know refer to the results of NCLB as
No Child Left Standing
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Force All Children To Learn By Rote Memorization Only Act or, More Money For Tests – Not Teachers – Act or, It Takes A Village Idiot Act or, Band Aids for the Broken Legs of Education (BABLE, er, BABEL?) and lastly, Good Enuff for Goverment Work Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:48 pm
No Child Moves Ahead
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Only one answer…
“All Parents Held Accountable” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Test me once, shame on….shame on……uh…..test me twice…uh
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I would like to propose the name
The Screwtape Proposes a Toast Act
in honor of the most insightful visionary of the result of government interference in education — published in 1961.
If you ever learned to enjoy satire, read
http://www.seark.net/~jlove/screwtape.htm.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
The “Test ‘em all and let the Feds sort them out Act”.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Let’s hope that Education Secretary Arne Duncan has more up his sleeve than a simple renaming of No Child Left Behind. The genesis of the law dates back to LBJ’s War on Poverty and aimed to pour dollars into under-served communities to bolster elementary and secondary education. Sadly, under President George W. Bush the law sunk into the pit of standardized testing. Public school districts, hamstrung by the pressure of the metric of NCLB, began to forsake inspired teaching for test prep, all in the hope of winning federal dollars. Of course, if the stakes of the game are set with raw numbers on tests, who can blame public school districts for shifting curriculum to match the ticket for money for their schools? After all, schools without adequate funding cannot provide signature programs for students. With his bounty of dollars from the stimulus package, Mr. Duncan must take the opportunity to launch an education revolution in America. My suggestion for a new name: Every child pushed ahead.
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
No Child Shall Excel Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Every Child Dumbed Down
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Because Underdeveloped Schools Have Wonderful Ancestral Connections (BUSHWAC)
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
With a hat-tip to the late Paul Goodman, my submission is:
The Compulsory Mis-Education Act
It is astonishing to re-read Goodman’s little 1962 book “Compulsory Mis-Education” today (and scandalous that it is out-of-print).
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Every Child Left Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Ok, one more:
Why Homeschooling Is So Popular – Economic Racket Act
(WHISP-ER Act)
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
When in Doubt, Choose C Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
SCAM
“School Children Are Misunderestimated”
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:24 pm
BUSH – The Bureaucratic, Under-thought Scholastic Hokum Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:24 pm
School Curriculum Revitalization and Enhancement Work for the Educationally Disadvantaged (SCREWED)
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:24 pm
The Read a Book and Go Away Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Danny Koretz’s book Measuring Up should be required reading for anybody who wants to do ANYTHING involving tests, test scores, average test scores, and evaluating teachers based on these. Until that happens, I propose the
“Measuring Education without Understanding the Science of Measurement” Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:30 pm
The “All Serious Learning Left Behind” Act
The “No Thought, All Memorization, Fuhgeddaboudit-After-the-Test” Act
The “Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Our Schools” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Since NCLB was a stealth bill designed to undermine confidence in public education and soften resistance to vouchers for private (read: parochial) schools, I propose renaming it The Federal Circumvent the First Amendment Act of 2001.
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
My name for the bill.
“The Crappy Educational Standards Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
In the spirit of Candide’s Cunegonde, the program should be renamed: NO CHILD’S LEFT BEHIND! (with exclamation point a constituent component). Offered is a different name providing new cachet to a failed program to which O’Bama adheres in continuation of his unremitting conventionalism.
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:39 pm
fiat nusquam esse
because the won’t be able to read it anyway.
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:40 pm
A point of clarification: NO CNILD’S LEFT BEHIND! also evokes the fact the program is half-assed.
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I call it:
“My child left behind.”
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:44 pm
The “You Go Ahead, We’re Fine” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Youth Educational Standards ” YES “
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Since they will have to work their butts off to pay for all of the stimulas packages that are being given away DAILY, how about “Get off your butts and get to work”
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
The No Child Left a Dime Act…
The No Child is Worth the Time Act…
The As-If-We-Had-Brain-Between-Us Act…
The Last Child to Leave, Turn Off the Lights Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
How about:
TART (Testing and Re Testing) Act
of
First World Country, Third World Education Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Oh, and not to forget – The Teach ‘Em How to Steal Money Properly Like Our Leaders Do Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:54 pm
How about, “Know that Child we Left Behind? Act!”
February 23rd, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Let’s call it the SSSS Act – Sacrifice Smart Save Stupid
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:01 pm
…and the ever-popular Training For a Job at WalMart Act. Or how about the “Teach Them How to Work Their Asses Off to Pay Our Debts to China Act”?
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:06 pm
One Child Left Behind
(to be announced adjacent to China policy)
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Considering what Bush did for school dropout rates, I humbly suggest:
“NO CHILD LEFT ACT”
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Critical Ramifications of Assessment Policy (CRAP)
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:10 pm
how about the:
SPEAR – Segregate The Poor Through Education Act (Revised)
I mean really, when there is test material, who is going to do better:
A) The student whose parents purchase tutoring and books
or
B) The poor student who has to work or both of who’s parents work multiple shifts.
or
C) Those children in single parent households.
Now raise your hand if you can tell me which group won big with the No Child Left Behind.
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:11 pm
The “I Think I Can, I Think I Can, Wishful Thinking Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
The “We’re From the Federal Government, and We’re Here to Help You” Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:14 pm
“Your Child’s Future is a Campaign Slogan Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Yes We Can Achieve! (YWCA)
or
Yes We Can Learn (YWCL)
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Educators Measuring Obedience (Emo) Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Children Win
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:25 pm
What about “Let’s Make Poorer Schools Suffer More” Act or the “No Extracurricular Activities makes Children Do Worse” Act? Or, how about the “Only leave children behind in minority and immigrant communities” Act? Or the “Dumb a$$ Re-testing” Act. Perhaps “The Rich Get Richer While the Poor Get Dumber” Act or “Children Advance Through Social Promotion” Act
Let’s try a completely new act like Real Assessment Means Real Education. Which means really assessing what the needs of each school or school district are and basing the funding on that. Or the “Advancement through Quality Education” Act.
If not, I’ll have to enact my own act with my 4 year old called “My Mommy Stopped Paying Taxes to Teach Me” Act, meaning I may have to stop working to teach my child if things keep going the way they have been.
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:28 pm
A. Eliminate Public Education Act
II. Public Education Only For The Privileged Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:31 pm
How about “No Child or Teacher Held Accountable”
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:31 pm
All Children Left Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
How about the “Will This Be On the Test?” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:36 pm
The Department of Redundency Department Act For Change Department Act
OR
I Wish I Had Two Nickels to Rub Together Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:38 pm
No Child Left Ahead
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Americas Communist Education System. ACES
Why isn’t it ok to want to be the school janitor anymore? Not everyone is cut out to be a brain surgeon or banker or politician. Last time I checked everyone still had different talents. Math and reading are not the only things that make up a quality lifestyle.
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Jokingly: Driving Creative Minds Away from the Teaching Profession Act
Seriously: the Children as Individual Learners Act, meaning we would have to change the law completely…
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:43 pm
How about these?
Children And Teachers Crisis Help (CATCH)
People Investing in Education (PIE)
Responsibile Investment in Global Human Talent (RIGHT)
Something To Invent Mostly Unfair Lifetime Unemployment Situations (STIMULUS)
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:45 pm
The Most Uncreative, Republican, Boring, Uninteresting, Excruciatingly Hair-brained Act That Congress has ever failed to put down.
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:45 pm
The real Project for the New American Century. (PNAC)
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm
No Child Gets Ahead is also good.
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:47 pm
“The No Child Rides The Bus Without Bringing Gas Money Act,” and other thoughts on the future at:
http://www.districtadministration.com/viewarticle.aspx?articleid=1873
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:47 pm
The “We’re Sorry We Screwed Up the Planet, and We’d Help You If We Could, But We Haven’t Got the Time Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:48 pm
The Learn How to Pass a Standardized Test so We Don’t Have to Teach You to Really Think Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
EDUCATION
Education
Delivers
Unique
Capacities in the
Arts,
Tests &
Innovation
On
Nations
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:50 pm
The Garlic offers these;
Leave Bush Behind Act
Clear Bush Policies Act
All Children To The Front Act
Clean Minds Act
Compassionate Education Act
He’s Gone, Now We Can Learn Act
And, in homage to former Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings, The Flashcards with Buster Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:53 pm
“New, Original Action on Education” Act, the natural shortened version of the name of the Act then being “NO Action on Education” Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Okay, how about this? When I was dancing, the choreographer called us SLUGS or Slow Learners Under Great Stress. Ha! (kidding of course)
I’m thinking Worlds of Wonder or Working on Winning (WOW) or some such uplifting acronym. I’ll keep thinking.
Jenifer Olson
P.S. I’m reading your book and loving it. Thanks!
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Education (Endeavor) Enrichment Act; or
Makin/Building Education (that) matters/count Act; or
(Forming) Sustainable Education Act; or
Value Education Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 3:59 pm
JHHBAY “Just Hold Him Back A Year”
That’s all I’ve heard since the testing started. Nothing to work on at home, no tutoring program, just keep him back, it’ll be easier!
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Be Responsive to Aptitude Interrogatories Not Intelligence ACT
BRAINI-ACT
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:09 pm
The If Life Were Fair We Wouldn’t Even Be Here Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I almost forgot!
“Just Put Them on Drugs Act”
I’ve gotten that one too, not from someone trained to make that decision, it would just make this easier.
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:14 pm
“Every Left-Behind Child’s Left Behind Righted” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:15 pm
The Forget About Education, Focus On the Lottery Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Fin-singa-da, after three countries which continually spank our no child left behinds.
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:24 pm
The “No Child Left Untested” Act,
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:25 pm
No “No Administrator Left Untested” Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Most folks in the education business – teachers, administrators, parents, students – know what helps children to perform well on tests, or, something that is more important, to learn well how to learn: teachers who know their subject, are generally well educated, and who know how to teach; administrators who support them by limiting their work load to what is manageable and paying them enough to do it in a safe, orderly environment; parents who consider education an important part of their children’s upbringing and are supportive of their kids efforts; and students who have realized that education is interesting, valuable, fun, or something else worth the effort. Inspiration, taking care, working reasonably hard, and nurturing the enjoyment of it all do better than preparing for and taking tests. Harder to measure, though.
A big drawback of measurement by standardized test is that there will always be students who excel, and those who don’t. You might be able to push the whole statistical distribution to the right, but the trailing edge will always be there. You’ll never get all the kids to be above average. There are also developmental limitations that humans have, and sometimes you have to just wait until someone is ready to make a certain step.
What, then constitutes being “left behind”? The name certainly ought to be ditched. If we want a name to encourage or inspire, “No Child Left Behind” certainly is not it. In any case, all programs from the Bush years were named in newspeak – the names said the opposite of the administration’s intent. If a bill in Congress would do what needs to be done, “House (or Senate) Bill # —” would suffice .
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:48 pm
The “No Teacher Left Motivated” Bill
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:49 pm
How about “The when in doubt choose ‘C’ act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:49 pm
How about the EPPE Act – Expel Poor Performers Early. Worked in Texas.
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:50 pm
How about the Human Capital Investment Act of 2009?
(I’ve been reading Heckman’s Inequality in America . . .)
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Putting America’s Children Back On Track (PACBOT)
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:55 pm
All Children Left Behind
Lets just say it like it was under the Idiot.
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I’ve long referred to it as -
No Child Left Ahead
If we can just teach all students to one standard, we can get rid of all that horrible exceptionalism out there!
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
“Don’t Misunderestimate Our Children Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Most Children Left Behind Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Redefining the Three “Rs”: The Rote, Repetition, and Regurgitation Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
“Teaching to the Lowest Common Denominator Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:05 pm
America’s National Academic Legislation
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:06 pm
On Bettering America’s Minds Act (OBAMA)
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:08 pm
No Child Left in an Art or Music Class Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:10 pm
No Child Left Untested
or perhaps
No Child Left A Child (free to run, and play and have recess…..)
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Decree by us Omniscient Adults to reinvent childhood – or simply the BOA (constrictor) act – how many of you preferred listening to the drone of a math teacher when you were ten years old?
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:13 pm
How about, “Learn From Our Mistakes Act.” If spell it out in print, maybe Arne Duncan and the DOE won’t make the same sophomoric mistakes that have plagued NCLB.
If that doesn’t grab ya, how about “Teach the Way Students Learn Act?” If teaching is not based on how students actually learn, all we’ll ever get to do is cover the material.
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Excuse me: Bill handed down by us Omniscient Adults to reinvent childhood – or simply the BOA (constrictor) act – how many of you preferred the drone of a math teacher when you were ten years old?
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Since I am a public high school teacher let me give this a whirl :
“The Guaranteed Employment For Nameless Faceless Bureaucrats Who Are Getting Money That Should Be Going To Our Kids in Our Classrooms” Bill . Or how about this? ” The Get Off Our Backs And Let Us Teach” Bill.
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:33 pm
How about “The You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:35 pm
“All Independent Thought Left Behind” Act
due to the fact that this law’s main goal seems to be adding more standardized testing and less education to our nation’s schools. We need money for truly innovative ideas, like the Denver school district’s experiment with ditching grade levels in favor of letting kids progress according to their ability and mastery of subjects. When I was teaching, I was regularly given memos that read, “Teach to the Test”. I met teachers who didn’t care that their fifth graders couldn’t read; they taught fifth grade material and let the kids fail. We need larger facilities with more teachers, and less students per class. We need to integrate school children with real-life and not institutionalize them away from the world, otherwise, they graduate unable to function as productive citizens…
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Lowest Common Denominator Act
Preparing Kids for Yesterday Act
Thanks to Ted McCain at http://tinyurl.com/cotuo5 for
Highly Educated Useless People Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:46 pm
How about:
Why Do Government Officials Send Their Children to Private Schools? Think. Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm
All Children Are Simply Entitled To Pass Everything So That We Don’t Hurt Their Self-Esteem Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm
The concept behind NCLB is to raise the United State’s standing in global math and science rankings. That’s it, we’re just falling beind in the “mine is larger than yours” race. However, that’s where the falacy begins. The countries that best us all have tracking throughout their educational systems. And I’m not just talking about A, B and/or C classes, I’m talking about MAJOR TRACKING, where students need to take periodic entrance exams to qualify for tracked schools. If you don’t pass the exams with a high enough grade, you don’t get into the academically tracked school, it’s on to vocational school with you. So, who are we comparing ourselves to? We’re comparing OUR ENTIRE SCHOOL POPULACE (from special ed, ELL, on up) with their most elite students (the only ones who actually take their exams). I’ll wager my entire career that if put on equal footing, our top 10% would cream their top 10% anyday! In other words, theres nothing wrong with our educational system, let’s just start comparing apples with apples.
That being said, let’s call the new educational act:
Scientifically Proven Educational Principles Applied By REAL Educators While Allowing Students to Succeed to their Individualized Maximum Ability Levels with Full Federal Funding (SPEPABREWASSIMAL3F)
Hey, if we’re going to dream, we might as well dream big!
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:52 pm
How bout the People are Gonna be Pissed when Change doesn’t Come act.
But more seriously the Educational Standards Act (ESA) would probably better off.
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:54 pm
No Child Left Alone
February 23rd, 2009 at 5:56 pm
How about naming it after the result, All Children Left Behind.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Since everyone needs to criticize the Act, and there’s very little, uh, charitable feeling toward it, the new name sums up what everyone seems to be feel.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:01 pm
I left off the name: – No Chide Felt Benign
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Oops, Mark beat me to it at 4:55 pm. I vote for his title.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:03 pm
I CAN HAZ EDYOOCAYSHUN!
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
How about: The Real American Education Act: Get Off Your Ass And Learn, AKA, Swim or Sink (you will be doing one or the other anyway, whether you realize it or not).
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:11 pm
How about the: It’s All Right, It’s OK, They’ll Be Working For Us Some Day Act. (IARIOTBWFUSDA for short)
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Eternal optimist that I am…
“Reclaiming Our Public Schools Act.” It would remove unfunded Federal mandates and put the power back where it belongs: with local communities and citizens engaging in dialogue about what student success should realisticallly look like in the 21st century and why it matters to our democracy and their hometown.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:19 pm
No Children Catching Up
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:21 pm
How about, “Rote Math and Paragraph Summary Act (RuMPuS)”, since poorly-performing schools drop everything (science, PE, music, art) to focus only on math and reading TAKS-taking skills.
Or, how about, the “No Child Left Behind Because We Can Skew the Test to Pass Everybody” Act, because that is pretty much what’s happening in states like Texas.
For those not aware, that’s what George Bush did in Texas. The so-called “Texas Miracle” is what got him running and winning the White House, even though the huge boost in student achievement was based on making the state testing MUCH EASIER.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Ever since the law was passed, my husband and I have called it
No Child Gets Ahead
because if any child gets ahead, the rest are, by definition, left behind. Unfortunately, that is exactly what happened in Texas. It’s a catastrophe here, folks, not a miracle!
Now, how can we get that carpetbagger outta Dallas, outta Texas, and all the way back north, the hell away from here?
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:42 pm
I’ve always thought of it as the Every Child Held Back act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:45 pm
We Are all Rocket Scientists (WARS) or History and Economics: Who Needs That Crap? (HEWNTC) or Lowest Common Denominator (LCD) or People Loving All – Science My Ass (PLASMA) or Invert and Multiply That Fraction After 12 Years (IMTFAY) or …
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:46 pm
If a renaming is all that is to happen, call it:
No Educated Children Left.
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
All Timebombs Left Behind
Test Now, Teach Later
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
No Child Allowed to Get Ahead Act
Handicapper General Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 6:59 pm
I think we should rename the law with the following initials:
PAIN standing for Passing Assessments Indicates Nothing.
Pain for teachers and real pain for kids who are tested ad nauseum….
Really……or else DBA Death By Assessment
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:08 pm
In honor of Ex-President G.W. Bush, willing to let history judge his presidency, I propose:
No Crony Left Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:10 pm
The Trail of Breadcrumbs Act? Somehow that Light in the Forest thing has me thinking of Hansel, Gretel, and an oven.
Or… No Test Left Behind.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Did anyone offer this yet…..?
No Teacher Left Standing
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:21 pm
All inspired by Bush…
The “more literate [and] hopefuller country” Act (January 2001)
The “Is our Children Learning” Act
The “teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:21 pm
bta reminds me
The Trail of Tears Test
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:21 pm
A couple more, for those who like acronyms:
WIA — Workforce Indoctrination Act
Self Esteem/Social Promotion/Outcome Over Learning Act, or
SESPOOL Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:22 pm
How about this one:
The Blame Teachers For Everything That Goes Wrong Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:23 pm
The Weapon of Missed Instruction Test
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:25 pm
How about the Flatten All Bell Curves Act (FABCA). Then everyone will achieve mediocrity!
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:28 pm
President Obama? Are you listening? There’s a lot of good stuff here. I teach in a high school that is on the ‘list’. We have experts now who have been hired to come into our district to tell us how to teach. We are constantly being observed and told how to be more effective by these ‘experts’ who have never EVER been in a classroom!!!!
All that money would have been better spent in the classrooms. If somebody…anybody….would just listen to us teachers, we could tell them how to more productively spend that money!!!
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:28 pm
AWESOME: ‘Accountability Without Enough Support Offers Mediocre Education’
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:36 pm
No No.2 Pencils Left Behind,
or
America for Straight A’s for All
— part of the Grades Redistribution and Recovery (GRR) Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Yes We Can Educate Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Testers Without Borders Act
[i reeeeelly wanna win de book]
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
How about the Teach the Children Music, Art and Phys. Ed Again Act?
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
the Hope Act
Higher Opportunities in Public Education Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:48 pm
No Child Held Accountable
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:49 pm
In honor of the Bush administration’s plan to do away with public education, call it the No Child Left In Schools act, or maybe No Public Schools Left. That’s for the original plan.
If the new one is an improvement, and how could it not be, it could have a nice name. If it is actually funded, it could have a nice, accurate name. That would be an improvement
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:49 pm
ACT for Superior Students (ASS)
Law for Advancing Mathematics and English (LAME)
Helping America’s Superior Students Learn Everything (HASSLE)
Justifying Uniformly Substandard Teaching By Enforcing ACTS Universally Thought Idiotic, Fanciful, Unproductive, and Legalistic (JUST BEAUTIFUL)
Hapless Educrats Leaking Pedagogically Misinformed Epistemology and Negating Our Wondrous and Massively Advanced Methods ACT (HELP ME NOW, MAMA)
Helping America’s Individual Learners Conquer Higher Intellectual Needs ACT (HAIL CHINA)*
Designing Routinely Improved Newfangled Keynesian Theories and Helping Education Keep Our Obtuse Lawmakers Always Imbibing Drinks and Making ACTS Counterproductively (DRINK THE KOOL-AID, MAC!)
Wise Educational Researchers Eventually Growing Onanistic with Never-Needed Assessments and Strangling Teachers Attempting Rudimentary or Visionary Education, Making Action Necessary!
(WE’RE GONNA STARVE, MAN!)**
or
Wise Educational Researchers Eventually Growing Onanistic with Never-Needed Assessments and Strangling Teachers’ Attempts at Rudimentary or Visionary Education and Deniably Uglifying Decent Education
(WE’RE GONNA STARVE, DUDE!)**
*I don’t offer this as a slight against China or anyone of Asian extraction. Rather, I suggest it as a respectful tip of the hat to China’s rapidly improving educational system.
**Alarmist? Depends on who you ask.
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Test me – I’m Polish!
February 23rd, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Every Child on Fast Forward
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Name it
(Children should Know better act)..or
(Yes We Can Act) or (My child not yours act) or (Bless the children act)
or ( I want an education too act) or (our future act) or ( Learn from our mistakes act) or the best for last ( Remember who is going to take care of you when your older act)……
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:05 pm
SAME IDEA, NEW NAME Test
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:07 pm
The All Children Must Read by the End of Kindergarten and Learn to Hate Reading Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:15 pm
WTR-We’re trying. Really!
Look!This is us doing something.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Don’t Look At Us Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:17 pm
I’ll Sue You Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:21 pm
No Teacher Left to Teach Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:29 pm
HELP A CHILD TO THEIR BEST POTENTIAL
We can’t help all to the highest level, but we can help each to their own best potential, in a reasonable manner. but not at all costs.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Making American Children As Smart As The New Immigrant-Kid From Vietnam Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:48 pm
How about No Teacher Left Unpunished?
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:54 pm
What, no multiple choice? Are we supposed to come a name by ourselves?
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Got it! Here ya go:
The ‘Kill All Desire For Genuine Learning While Prepping Kids For the Last Good Job–(Whoops) Just Shipped to Mexico–Act’.
They used to make schools like factories and prep kids for the drudgery that awaited in them; today it’ll be about insuring they grow up unwitting enough not to revolt–or will it insure that? I’m not so sure. Humans aren’t really cut out for such horseshit, whatever you call it.
P.S. Is K. Bachman a f’real person, or someone’s hologram of the perfect. . . person to administer the program?
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Lipstick on a Pig Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:57 pm
The Fill Those Bubbles Test
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:59 pm
How about the truth? Lets call it the Slave Obediance Training Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:59 pm
HOKP-FOTF
Help Our Kids Put Food On Their Families
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:00 pm
TARP: Troubled Adolescents Recovery Program
FPERA: For-Profit Education Relief Act
The Four Modernizations (in honor of our new Chinese overlords)
Omnibus Brain Improvement Act (as amended)
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:01 pm
No Child’s Behind is Left. My wife is a high school teacher and says the whole thing sucks and should be ditched!!!
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Testing…..1, 2, 3….Testing 1, 2, 3….Testing…anyone?
Do we get points for effort?
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Fill Every Matching Answer (FEMA) Test
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
THE AMERICAN HERITAGE ACT
When children are taught their correct social heritage they will become learners in their own right. Children who don’t know who they are in essence, don’t know the origin of their species and don’t know the history of their evolution as natural gathers of information, knowledge and understanding, they become sponges and memory victims instead of conscious, passionate participants in the learning process. The correct answer to the WHO AM I IN ESSENCE question should lay the foundation of education in America and, in the world. There is no real value in mastering numbers, words or colors if you can’t count yourself correctly, not by skin, gender or social data but in essence.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Student High Intensity Test for All Children Educated
You work out the acronym.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:05 pm
The “George Bush screwed the Children Act”
The “Underfunded Mandate Act”
The “Let’s Assume Our Teachers Are Morons Who Can’t Teach Children So We’ll Make Them Teach to Tests Act”
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:05 pm
How about just the “Big Brother Act.” Most of W’s descriptions fit, but the idea of programming young minds to take these tests is one of the better examples.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
Hmmm how about TEA-BAG?
Testing
Educational
Achievements
Before
Attaining
Graduation
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:09 pm
The Unknown Unknowns Test
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:16 pm
USA!!
Unfunded Schools Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:19 pm
The Mission Accomplished Sh*t Test
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:21 pm
The Bridge To Nowhere Test
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:22 pm
No Public School Left Standing.
I’ve called it that for years.
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Dude, where’s my child?
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:29 pm
The Fast-Track To American Idiocracy Program
The Math Is Hard Barbie Program For Kids
Science Schmience Program For The Biblically Illiterate
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Let’s call it
The Unfunded Man-Date for Teaching Exsolunce
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
We Don’t Need No Education
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
There’s an entry above from one Leland Witter at February 23rd, 2009 at 5:06 pm, suggesting:
On Bettering America’s Minds Act (OBAMA)
………………………………………………………….
I believe that he must have meant to suggest:
On Battering America’s Minds Act (OBAMA)
==============================
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:39 pm
The Michael Jackson Act
(because we all know what he does to kids.)
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:40 pm
The Neil Bush Full Employment Act. (NBFEA)
Or
All Schools Fail in Five Years. (ASFFY)
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:42 pm
The Privatization of Education by Defunding All Schools Act (PEDASA)
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:44 pm
I really like this one from Ella:
Equal Opportunity Education EOE
Depending on who you are, there’s a lot of baggage here, but this appellation says it all: whatever a kid needs, he or she gets. Shouldn’t that be the goal of our education system?
February 23rd, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Pull as Much Funding as we Can Act, Take huge amounts of time from the school year to teach test taking instead of real curriculum, Gut Urban Schools Act, Fund Fundamentalist Schools Act, Enrich Private Crony Corporations that run Charter Schools Act, Devalue Education Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
No Child Left Behind Because They’re ALL Stuck in the Starting Gate
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Teachers Union Destruction Act
Charter School Stimulus Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:04 pm
The Let’s Pretend You’re Getting an Education Act.
Because, face it. 100 years ago, kids knew more by 8th grade graduation than you will with a Bachelor’s. We made it easy for you so you wouldn’t fail. Quit whining, you lazy sots.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:06 pm
No Money, But High Expectations (NMBHE)
Politicians Feeling Better and Fixing Nothing (PFBFN)
Critical-Thinking Aborted for Politicians (CRAP)
Or, for truth in advetising…
Stupid Tests so Children Can’t No Longer Think Themselves Out of a Paper Bag (STCCNLTTOPB)
Unless the Federal Government suddenly has money to permanently fund any law, they should just kill this stupid thing. It doesn’t work. As is, the teachers spend 1/4 of the year teaching to a test that will do them no good in life. So with that in mind, here’s my last suggestion…
Legislated Attempt to Modernize Education (LAME)
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
the “Failed Policy that Still Somehow Limps Along Like a Zombie Act” (FPSSLZA or effpusslizza, catchy, no?)
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
No Child Allowed Ahead Act.
Child Incarceration Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 pm
As a teacher of the gifted, I often wonder why we can’t spend money on the kids who are going to make a positive difference if supported properly.
How about “No Child left behind, but waste no time, money or energy on those that are ahead”
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Every Child’s A Special Snowflake Act
Or, how’s about Setting Our Expectations Low So Everyone Can Meet Them Act?
Or, how’s this for a radical idea?
We Screwed Up, Sorry, This Thing Is Going The Way of the Dodo Act?
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
“Let Them Eat Peanut Butter Act of 2009″
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:13 pm
The Act for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Learn to do Other Things Good, Too.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
The Rote Standardization of All Offspring Act
The Stick a Fork In It Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Children Are Just A Test Score Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:19 pm
G.W. Bush Memorial “My Pet Goat” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Leave the Left’s Children Behind
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:20 pm
How about the “No Child Gets A Chance” act?
The impact of this law has always been to drag the classroom down to the lowest common denominator. Classroom teachers, who generally have the best of intentions, end up teaching to the lowest segment the population’s capability. Students of average or above average ability are penalized instead of rewarded, and then we wonder why our graduates can’t compete on the global market.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
The It-Won’t Matter-Anyway-If-The-Parents-Don’t-Take-A-Seriously-Participatory-Role-And-Stop-Chucking-Their-At-Home-Responsibility Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Is our children learning act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Another couple:
“Sorry We Screwed Up The Planet, Good Luck With All That” Act
“Wait A Minute, You’re Going To Take Care Of Us In Our Old Age, OMG What Have We Done!” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
The Next Educational Solution That Won’t Work Either Act. NESTWWE, since we always seem to wee in our nest in education.
After 40 years in education I just groan at the top down solutions that are developed by people many of whom have spent little or no time in classrooms, working with students, parents, and a rigid system. Every new administration that I worked under had a whole new way to administer education that usually interferred with learning.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:32 pm
I suggest the Act for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to do Other Things Good Too Act
(or, for those of you who like something simpler: AKWCRGWOTGTA)
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:32 pm
How about:
Mind Bender education act
Society re-education act
room 101 is just around the corner in you don’t study act
George Carlin act
Give a child a chance and maybe they will do it better then we did act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
IATA: Immediately Abolish This Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:33 pm
The No Child Left Bright Act.
The Third Graders Fear of Pointless Test Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:39 pm
But seriously, the object ought to be to teach our kids all the things that they’ll need during their next 70 or 80 years of life. Mostly, they need to know how to think critically. But they also need to know how to write and read and how to do arithmetic. Critical thinking is a long-term learning process. The other stuff just requires lots and lots and lots of practice.
So let’s call it the No Child Left Uneducated Act and then let’s make sure that we leave no child uneducated.
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:43 pm
How about,”Let no child feel like a behind, unless he/she behaves like one.”
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:54 pm
I want someone to say something nice about one of my entries because if I don’t get constant praise and approval and high grades regardless of the crap I (re)produce, how am I supposed to excel and feel good about myself?
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:58 pm
“No Child Left a Mind”.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:06 pm
Over the past two years, I have come to refer to the NCLB act as the
NO TEST LEFT BEHIND – because its just about test after test without any consideration for strengthening the weaknesses assessed in any one test, before the next test is given.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:07 pm
No Need For Old Chevy Mechanics Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 pm
The End of Compulsory Education Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:15 pm
This is just getting damn tiresome. Let’s try this:
THE EDUCATION DIRTT (DO IT RIGHT THIS TIME) ACT
Perhaps this act could be cleaner than the ones that preceded it.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Several come to mind:
The College Dean of Admissions Suicide Contemplation Act
The Remedial Education Departmental Full Employment Act of 2009
The Standardized Choose One 25% Solution Act
The Vincent “Vinnie” Barbarino Mental Dexterity & Social Promotion Act
(The ” ‘What? Where?’ Act” for short)
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:16 pm
If the substance of the law stays the same, the name should become
No BS Left Behind.
If I understand correctly, a part of the law requires schools to have a percentage of “highly qualified” teachers. This sounds sensible but that the definitions of HQ varies from “been there forever” to “forced to jump through a never-ending series of hoops.” I would think that a lot of people who are truly highly qualified wouldn’t go near a K-12 school system.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Now American Kids Must Learn To Do Fractions Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 pm
“Catching up with the Chinese and Indian Kids” Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
“Learn Pre-calc in High School” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
“Spend less time on myspace” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:24 pm
“Stop working in McDonald’s” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:25 pm
America CIA Act – America Covers Its A– Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:27 pm
The “Close Only Counts in Hand Grenades and Educating Our Youth” Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:27 pm
No Child Would Be Left Behind If We Actually Funded This Mandate Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:28 pm
Is Our Children Learnin’ Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:30 pm
The You Are Going To Live To Be 100 And You’re “Friends” Won’t Even Know You In Three Years Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Superfluous
Testing
Underestimates
Pupils’
Intelligence,
Duh
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:35 pm
No Child’s Behind Left (h/t to Greg Palast). This entire package of legislation is a disaster, a hateful and all-too-direct attack on our children. It doesn’t need to be renamed, it needs to be thrown in the trash.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 pm
NNDA: Ningún Niño Dejó Atrás
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Excellence for All
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Bail Out The Bottom (1/4th) Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Voucher Set Up Act
This was the real agenda from day one.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:47 pm
How about the somebody threw away a perfectly good teacher act?
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:56 pm
If we’re gonna re-brand it, lets just label it honestly: The Fuck Learning and Take the Goddamn Test Because Your School’s Funding Depends On It Act.
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Got Dreams? Get Educated Act
Education Can Make Dreams Come True Act
Education Lasts a Lifetime Act
February 23rd, 2009 at 11:59 pm
The I Don’t Know How To Think But I Can Punch Buttons On A Calculator Act.
The Who Cares About Being Qualified, I’m Certified To Teach Act.
The My Kid Can’t Read, Can’t Write, And Can’t Do Math But He Sure Can Make A Nice Collage Or Power Point Presentation Act.
The Let’s Pretend We’re Fixing Education By Throwing More Money At It Act.
February 24th, 2009 at 12:00 am
How about:
Teachers and Children Working Together Act (TCWTA) or
Teachers and Children in Cooperation Act (TCCA)
February 24th, 2009 at 12:04 am
How about S.T.A.B.: Smarter Than the Average Bear
February 24th, 2009 at 12:05 am
The No Child Left Educated Act of 2010
February 24th, 2009 at 12:15 am
I know it’s not original and it’s probably already been submitted, but I’m sure Drake Sather & Ben Stiller wouldn’t mind too much…
“The Derek Zoolander Act For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too”
February 24th, 2009 at 12:20 am
No Corporation Left Behind–that’s where all of the money went.
February 24th, 2009 at 12:22 am
The Pretend No Children Fell Behind to Preserve Your Funding Act
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C07E7DB1139F93BA1575BC0A9659C8B63
February 24th, 2009 at 12:26 am
No Child’s Behind Left
February 24th, 2009 at 12:53 am
The Scantron Bubbler Act.
February 24th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Wet Blanket on Love of Learning Act
February 24th, 2009 at 1:03 am
How about keeping politics out of education? Give educators the power keep the hell out of our classrooms Washington. Giving a new name to something without changing anything is pathetic.
February 24th, 2009 at 1:09 am
How ’bout what it is: EDUCATIONAL EUGENICS Act
February 24th, 2009 at 1:23 am
LUMPIA: Large Unfunded Mandates to Produce the Illusion of Accountability.
Remedial English Testing And Reading Development System
February 24th, 2009 at 1:27 am
The Closing Failing Schools Instead of Failing Banks Act
February 24th, 2009 at 1:31 am
Just love these responses!
how about;
Testing Every Month, Learning Absolutely Nothing Act
or
Eventually No Child Wins Act
???
With the current NCLB, it’s said after so many years of no AYP, restructuring, etc, the school will remove it’s current staff – but hey, what if half of the Teachers/Admin/Resource staff have only been there half/quarter of that time?
And suppose the demographic changes quarterly due to new, transitory, ELL students – the ones with the ‘parents’ who not only don’t speak a word of, but can’t understand, English unless to get on the dole. And in their native country, kids haven’t been to school for the past year cause it wasn’t important there?
So the result is ‘toss out the baby with the bath water’???
Wow, and anyone wonders why the country is in ruins??
February 24th, 2009 at 1:35 am
The No White, Middle-Class Suburban Kid Left Behind But We Are Going To Make Districts Spend Millions of Dollars on Glossy Research-Based Programs That Don’t Really Work To Make It Look Like We’re Not Leaving Inner-City and Rez’ Kids Behind Act
or
The We Don’t Respect Teachers Act
(Did you guess that I am a teacher?)
February 24th, 2009 at 1:56 am
If we actually want Republicans to vote for it, we’ll have to appeal to their favorite subjects:
The FLAG PIN Act: “The Federal Learning Among (our) Global Peers INvestment Act”
The MORE GUNS Act: The “Making Obtainable Real Educational Goals Under National Standardization” Act
The School PRAYER Act: The “School Provides Real Americans Yearly Educational Rewards” Act
February 24th, 2009 at 1:59 am
Every Child Is In Front Act
February 24th, 2009 at 2:01 am
Reading Educating Testing And Revision Decree –
Otherwise known as R.E.T.A.R.D.
February 24th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Right the Wrong Act Act
February 24th, 2009 at 2:20 am
You Put Your Right Child In, You Put Your Wrong Prez Out, You Put Your Left Child In, And You Shake It All About Act
February 24th, 2009 at 3:08 am
The I Graduated From College With A Houseworth Of Debt And All I Got Was This Crappy Braindead Service Job Thats Why I Vote For Demagogues Act
February 24th, 2009 at 5:27 am
The, “They Learned Me Real Good at Skule Akt’
February 24th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Teach the Children Well
February 24th, 2009 at 6:06 am
Leave No Hot Teachers’ Behind Act
Why Can’t They Just Get A Long Division Act? (Rodney, where are ya when we need ya?)
A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste, But Billions Is A Hecka Lot Worse To Waste Act
This Is Your Brain On Standardized Tests, Any Questions? Act
Teachers Are People, Too! Act
Creation of Prison-Based Education For Those Left Behind Act
See Spot Run, See Budget Run Away Act
Twelve-Step Education Reform Act (because fixing a problem first requires that you admit there’s a problem)
Bush Was Left Behind, You Can Be, Too! Act
Act Now Or Your Kids Be Stoopid Act
Potatos or Potatoes, Does It Really Matter Act?
February 24th, 2009 at 6:25 am
Keep the acronym, yet change the wording:
NCLB: No Corporation Left Behind
After all, when all is said and done, that’s what it’s really about-more corporate involvement in schools.
Thank you Milton Friedman!
February 24th, 2009 at 7:29 am
No Child Left Behind, Just Drag Them Along
February 24th, 2009 at 7:33 am
Now Child, Learn the Basics (NCLB)
Readin’, wRitin’, aRithmatic…..pick one.
February 24th, 2009 at 7:51 am
Derek Zoolander Act For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Things Good Too Act
February 24th, 2009 at 7:52 am
Military recruiting gullible in school and lower the standards for funds act
February 24th, 2009 at 8:37 am
The “cut all gifted programs and teach to the lowest common denominator” act.
or
The “continued dumbing down of our schools” act.
or
The “educating is hard, let’s just teach them how to take a multiple choice test” act.
February 24th, 2009 at 8:42 am
I like “Our Childrens Do Learn but lets Learn Them Even Better Act”…Inspired by our very quotable 42nd president.
February 24th, 2009 at 8:49 am
Children
Regaining
Academic
Promise
or
The Little Obama Academic Achievers (LOAA) We’ll be able to fund it entirely through t-shit sales.
February 24th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Confuse Motion with Action Act.
Struggle FOR Mediocrity Act
February 24th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Educate And Test (EAT) Our Children Act
February 24th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Narrow-minded Claptrap Liquifies Brains
February 24th, 2009 at 9:40 am
The Lake Wobegon All Above Average Education Act
February 24th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Expectation that we all learn the same which is ridiculous Act or
Trying to make our education-for-all system meet the standards of countries who don’t educate all act
February 24th, 2009 at 9:43 am
The All In All You’re Just Another Brick In the Wall Act.
February 24th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Student’s Higher Information Tests
February 24th, 2009 at 9:49 am
The “Education Schmeducation” Act
February 24th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Maybe what our parents and grandparents had when they were in school?
STOP complaining, Quit looking for a HANDOUT, and get to WORK. Works for all ages k-adult.
February 24th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Standardized Test Compensation Quotient (STATIC QUO)
No Test Left Unpurchased Act
Getting Close Enough to Breathe the Fumes of European Education Act
In the Wake of European Active Knowledge (WEAK)
Every American Moving Forward (This involves expanding NCLB to include general knowledge questions that MUST be answered before ANYONE can access Grand Theft Auto, Jerry Springer, internet porn, Kansas School Boards, or anything else that keeps us in the intellectual toilet. If you think the dates of the Revolutionary War are 1883-1892 or that Shakespeare was the king of England or that Rosa Parks was Martin Luther King’s grandmother, you haven’t earned game access, Swedish threesomes, or toothless love triangles.)
Speeding the Normalization of American Instruction and Learning while Mandating American Ignorance Lasts (SNAILMAIL)
February 24th, 2009 at 9:57 am
No Child’s Left Behind or Right Behind Left Behind
February 24th, 2009 at 10:01 am
It’s never been about the children per se, it’s always been about holding school districts accountable for establishing a curriculum that covers the necessary topics and making certain the students get through that curriculum. As everyone is well aware, that focus runs straight into other factors that impact the classroom environment.
so, it’s really the School District Accountability Act or the Curriculum Competion Act
February 24th, 2009 at 10:03 am
KEWT (pronounced cute)
Kill Education With high stakes Testing
February 24th, 2009 at 10:06 am
I think they already renamed it… TARP
February 24th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Fixing Up Crappy Kids’ Schools
(FUCKS)
Or, maybe something like “Amy’s Law” since those always sound so nice.
February 24th, 2009 at 10:07 am
The Catch-22 Act. Everyone must achieve the same standards but with vastly inequitable resources.
How about the Educational Apartheid Reinforcement Act.
February 24th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Teachers in my school district have always called this the
NO CHILD LEFT act.
February 24th, 2009 at 10:22 am
The “No Child Left Behind Because One May Someday Get Elected President Train-wrecking The World Economy Destabilizing The Security Of The Entire Globe And For Good Measure Suck The Life And Joy Of Learning Out Of Every Classroom In The United States” Act.
February 24th, 2009 at 10:28 am
“Rebranding” is used to sell the same thing under a different name. I found it funny that the Democrats blasted this program, especially since it was co-authored by Ted Kennedy and George Miller. If people look at education funding during the last Administration, they will be shocked to find out that it increased over 20%. Did this achieve anything?
With EFCA looming in the horizon, the unions will be targeting two employers off the bat – McDonalds and Wal-Mart. If this passes, these jobs will provide living wages, full insurance and a pension. Students will then make the following career decisions – go to college or work at McDonalds/Wal-Mart. For the people who choose the latter, school will be optional. Students will wait until they turn 18 and then have a guaranteed job.
So in light of this, we should call the new program Day Care for Teenagers. If these students that choose to do poor in school actually attend, they will create havoc on other students who seek to go to college. The schools will be forced to segregate the good students from the bad. The bad students will basically sit around and do nothing (sounds like the job bank at the Big Three).
February 24th, 2009 at 10:32 am
“No Standard Too Low Act”
February 24th, 2009 at 10:35 am
In my view, “Doing The Right Thing”s following entry with the time stamp “February 23rd, 2009 at 4:14 pm” is the cleverest among all entries thus far:
“Every Left-Behind Child’s Left Behind Righted” Act
February 24th, 2009 at 10:39 am
The Dog Ate My Plan to Save the Schools Act
February 24th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Children of the nation unite. You have only your parents’ ignorance to lose.
February 24th, 2009 at 10:41 am
“Every Child Must Run a 9.9 100 Meters Act”
or “Every Child Must be in the Top 10% Act”
or the “Make Most Children Feel Like they are looking for Change for a Penny Act” or
The “Show No MERCY to Childrens ACT” Better known as the “Shame Most Children Act”
I really like the “Shame on Congress Act (SCA)”
“Sock It To All Children Act”
The “CPA” (Child Persecution Act)
February 24th, 2009 at 10:42 am
The name for the reauthorized law will be Future of Our Children in Underachieving Schools Act (FOCUS)
February 24th, 2009 at 10:58 am
The “My County Spent Obscene Amounts of Money so Every Child Could Have a Laptop and Yet the Students Continue to Refuse to do Any Work at Home, so No Matter How Many Different Ways I Review Content and Try to Develop Interest in School, Until the Parents Help Change the Atmosphere at Home the County Bought Really Nice Paper Weights That Double as an iTunes Machine” Act
February 24th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Raise the Bar Act (RABA)
February 24th, 2009 at 11:28 am
The One Size Fits Every Behind Act
February 24th, 2009 at 11:35 am
What it should be:
Opportunities for Academic Excellence Act
What best describes it now, and likely in the near future, given the pervasive ideology of the educationists in charge:
Intellectual Homogenization Act
-or-
Mandatory Mediocrity Act
February 24th, 2009 at 11:39 am
In January 2008, PURE proposed “Equally Excellent Schools for Every Child” (we could call it E3).
http://pureparents.org/index.php?blog/show/Memo_to_the_next_president
Now, for the law’s philosophy. I think we can do better than Bush’s “getting the biggest bang for the buck,” especially since many of the programs NCLB pushed under that philosophy didn’t work anyway. So, how about “The purpose of E3 is to assure that every child in the United States has access to a free, high-quality, effective education in their own neighborhood.”
February 24th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Why can’t we just scrap it and turn it into the Leave Stupid Children Behind Act?
February 24th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
It seems unlikely to me that any of the more creative entries will be adopted, so I opt for “The American Children’s Educational Act of 2009.” ACE Only if we’re really fortunate will it be instituted in 2009. It’s probably several years down the road.
February 24th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
The Punish the Schools that Need the Help Act
The No Child Helped Ahead Act
The No Child is Behind When All Are Doing Poorly Act
February 24th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
We just started testing in my school today so I was inspired.
Somnambulant
Testing
Undermines
Purposeful
Instruction
DANG IT!
February 24th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Since we have adopted the notion that learning should require absolutely no effort at all from the student , lets call it SWEL (Students, Without Effort, Learn).
But, if we come to our senses and remember that learning anything useful requires work from the student, we could call it LOYO (Learn Or You’re Out of here).
My last try: LUMP (Lazy and Undisciplined Money Pit)
February 24th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Oops – one more
HMA (Hire More school Administrators)
February 24th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Let’s call it what it really is: The Underfunded Unrealistic Educational Expectations Permitting Wealthy White Parents to Move Children As If Congress Approved a Voucher System and Leaving Poor Minority Children Behind in Substandard Schools Act.
February 24th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
No child ahead, no child behind. Punish all children equally.
February 24th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
The Let’s Stop Pretending We Know What We’re Doing act…Though it’s true, it falls so short of other great ideas above.
February 24th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
The “Is Our Children Learning?” Act
The So Many Tests There’s No Time Left to Teach Act
Standardization Undermines Creativity and Kills Education Reform (SUCKER) ACT.
The “Hey, Maybe We Can Shine S**t!” Act
The My Friends in the Standardized Testing Industry Really Appreciate our Patronage Act.
The Laughing All Way to the Bank Act
February 24th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Teach to the Test or Else Act
February 24th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
The Real Solutions Were Going to Cost Too Much Money Act
February 24th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
How about
The No Matter What We Call it, it Still Doesn’t Work Act
Because the reality is we can re-name it all we want but what we are focusing on right now is a name and not the problem. We should be writing this to our Congress members not to a blog contest.
Or the
Never Let a Child Achieve Act
February 24th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
All Children Are Equally Important Act (ACAEIA)
First off, disadvantaged students across America are an important aspect of this law. Keeping decent teachers to educate them is equally important. Making sure all students are held to equal standards is important to reassure a student he/she is not receiving a handout. As a parent it would be devastating to find out your child graduated because the school lowered standards to accommodate him/her. I am 24 and believe the education system is the most important aspect of a functioning economy. I believe colleges should be looking at socio-economic factors when giving privilege to students getting in (instead of based on race) and should be looking to better educate the underprivileged in elementary and secondary educations systems around the U.S. in order to allow them to perform at a level equal to their piers. I believe everyone should look into “The Accountability Illusion” as it pertains to the current arguments about what to do at this current moment. I think we should all get over personal politic crap and come together on education because we are not talking about ourselves for the most part here, but instead are addressing a future generations of creative minds who do not have the choices of creating policy for themselves. Their interest should be number one and not our own agendas. As we move forward on this topic I hope we keep this in mind. All children equally deserve the right to be educated and learn to their fullest potential from a great group of teachers along the way.
February 24th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
How about The Homogenize Our Children Act? Since the current act doesn’t let the cream of the class rise, we might as well name it honestly.
February 24th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
‘That Was A Really Stupid Idea But We’ve Learned From Our Mistakes And Will Not Continue To Dumb Down Education For A Nation Of Burger Flippers And Trigger Pullers’
February 24th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I’d suggest
Testing Won’t Erase Real Problems or TWERP.
February 24th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
No Child Left Behind No Child Gets Ahead
February 24th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Learning Hard Not Hardly Learning Act
Opportunities Not Obstacles Education Act
Succession of Future Leadership Act
Come On Guys, Kids Can Barely Read Act
Don’t Just Stand There, Do Something Act
February 24th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Isn’t it time to channel all that cynicism into something productive for kids? “Every child’s potential unleashed” inspires me to let go of the resentments for all the damage the NCLB Act has done to children and schools and focus on what’s best for our children again.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
How about FEBGA
Federal Education Bureaucracy Growth Act
February 24th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Rebuilding Education After Bush (REAB) Pronounced: “rehab”
However, eight years may not be enough time.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
MADGAP act
Moms and Dads Get A Pass act
Helloooo?? Parents??? are you out there anymore????
February 24th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
How about – We Just Need One More Assessment Act- or
February 24th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
“More tests and less exercise creates unhealthy robots”
February 24th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Funny story: Texas has a law that a student has to attend at least 90% of the time to be promoted to the next grade. Of course, it’s ignored all the time. Several years ago, we decided to retain a young woman in 8th grade because she had been absent for 69 of 180 days. Her mom came up to the school and informed us that we couldn’t do that because Congress had passed a law called “No Child Left Behind”. So we couldn’t leave her child behind in 8th grade!
February 24th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Real: ECO Every Child an Opportunity
Questionable: BLTN Better Late Than Never
Accurate: HAAP Hope and a Prayer
Realistic: KTIP Keep Them in Poverty
February 24th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
ROTT N HELL Act
“Race Or Trot to Top, New Hope for Education for Laggard Losers Act”
…Just kidding around!
February 24th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Seriously, I like this one:
Children Learning at Successful Schools Act
CLASS Act
February 24th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
Give Special Education Students The Exact Same Test, Then When They Can’t Pass It, Call The School Failing Act.
February 24th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
the “No Flexibly Left Remaining Act”, featuring the “One Size Fits All Or You Get Fined” mandate.
February 24th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Do Over! Do Over!….Dodo (Hopefully soon as extinct!)
No Childhood Left Because…pols screwed it up.
February 24th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
deep-six that stupid red schoolhouse act
DSSRSA
February 24th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
FUBAR
Blanked up beyond all recognition Act
February 24th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
From Urban dictionary.com
The “off the box” act
the state of being removed from a position of prominence/importance due to a foolish mistake. Related to Michael Phelps being dropped by Kellogg after a picture of him with a bong was released
Dude, after that bonehead move you are so off the box.
February 24th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
In tribute to LOL cats:
I Can Has Education Act
February 24th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
It should be named “There is no “U” in Children Act”
February 24th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Not that I could possibly top Karen’s LOL cats-inspired submission, but…
One line of thought:
Let’s Keep Ignoring Poverty Act
Burying Our Heads in the Sand Act
Another line:
Comprehensive Reform for Achievement and Performance Act
Testing to Unify for Revitalization and Development Act
February 24th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
I’m not leaving my child behind anymore, so we’re heading to parochial school where they still teach reading, writing and arithmetic Act.
February 24th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
How about the “American Privatization of Public Education” Act?
February 24th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Equity in Education Act (EEA)
February 24th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
My Cash Cow As a Freelance Science Writer Act
February 24th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
A doctor on the radio was lamenting that kids are getting fatter because NCLB has indirectly resulted in shorter and fewer periods of physical activity. He proposes a new law, titled
No Child Left On Their Behind
February 25th, 2009 at 12:06 am
How ’bout the Widen the Gap Between Rich/White and Poor/or Minority Students Even More Act?
Or the Mandated Terrorism Against Title I Schools Act?
February 25th, 2009 at 12:14 am
I liked Caroline’s suggestion that we reteach measures of central tendency, especially to our politicians and policy makers. When Pete Wilson was governor of California he said that the goal of our schools was to have every child scoring above the 50th percentile. Therefore, I propose the new law be called the Lake Wobegon Act – All of our children are above average (and good looking).
February 25th, 2009 at 4:52 am
NPLE – No Principal Left Employed act
February 25th, 2009 at 9:20 am
ASSES Act: Arbitrary State Standards Equal Success
UPHILLS Act: Universal Proficiency Hiding Inadequate Learning through Lowered Standards
STONED Act: State Takeover Or Nationalization of EDucation
PISSEDOFF Act: Prepare for Imminent State-Supported EDucation Operating Failures Forever
Okay, that last one was a stretch.
100% is true as often as “never” and “always” are true. (Even if I said 100% of men are male, some people would argue the point.)
On the other hand,
If we set our sights low enough, anything becomes possible.
February 25th, 2009 at 9:35 am
Don’t Utilize My Brain (D.U.M.B.) ACT
Never Educate All (NEA ACT)
Disabled And Minorities Never Intellectualize Things (DAMN IT) Act
February 25th, 2009 at 9:41 am
I think a good new name would be the “Making All Children Succeed”
Act or MACS!!!
February 25th, 2009 at 9:51 am
No Stone Left Unturned Act…
Is It June Yet?
February 25th, 2009 at 10:07 am
Since this law was created to beat up on education let’s just call it the “No Stone Left Un-Thrown Act”. Oh and by the way, duck.
February 25th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Reminiscent of “A rose by any other name…” I believe the new name should be:
Putting Lipstick on the Pig Act
February 25th, 2009 at 11:21 am
How about – Generation F (our Future) ACT!
February 25th, 2009 at 11:54 am
I like what John says: John Roehmer Says:
How about “Knowledge for Life” as the new name? The basics in education are certainly critical, but the education system needs to deliver young adults ready to confront the realities of building a successful life with the tools and understanding necessary for making moral choices and contributing to our nation.
February 25th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
By way of aspiration, and as an antithesis to what NCLB encouraged, I propose: Advancing Thinking in School Act
February 25th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
THE STUDENTS AIN’T REALLY AS DUMB AS THEY SEEM ACT.
or for short ‘TSAADATSA’ (pronounced saadatsa-the T is silent)
February 25th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
I am 50 and attending community college and after three years of seeing the aftermath of NCLB act, here is my proposal
The dude next to me just graduated high school and can’t spell or read, but at least he gets financial aid act
February 25th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
How about the I don’t know anything about it but it sure makes me look smart to put it down and blame Bush even though it had strong bi-partisan support act?
February 25th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Public Education Recriminalization Plan (PERP)
February 25th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
another vote for ACE – Advancing Childrens Education
February 25th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
When Inventing a New Name Is Not Going to Justify A Crapshoot (WINNING JAC) Act.
February 25th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
The “Here We Go Again Redux” Act.
February 25th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
The “Every Kid is Gonna Read Good and Do Other Things Good Too” Act (EKGRGOTGTA).
February 25th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Let’s call it Get Every Child Ahead (GECA)!
February 25th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
America Was Bushwhacked! Act
February 25th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
You Suck, You’re Stuck Act
February 25th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
No Child Left in Tact!
February 25th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
DWIT (Dude, Where’s my Instructional Time?)
February 25th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
How about the DHKA (Don’t Hold Kids Accountable) Act? In many eduaction systems overseas, the students are held accountable for their learning (not the teachers or the parents or whoever). No wonder our teens are out of control.
February 25th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Parents Take Some Responsibility Act
February 25th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I would like to see it named “Repealed.”
Let’s see if Arne Duncan and Congress do what truly needs to be done regarding this legislation. We survived the Bush Administration. Now let us teach America’s children what they really need to learn.
February 25th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Well, many years back, I remember looking up the elusive “Nickleby” act that everyone was talking about and finding nothing … until I realized that was the pronunciation of NCLB. And so, in the spirit of reincarnation, I vote for “Dicken’s Revenge.”
February 25th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
I prefer WALK…We All Like Kids….what the hell….I mean, you don’t HATE Children, do you?
February 25th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
The Destroy Every Creative and Innovative Thinkers Act (DECIT)
February 25th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
“NCLB Left Behind”
“Goals 3000: Race to Educate America Act”
“Act to Educate Act”
February 25th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
No Millionaire Left Behind!
February 26th, 2009 at 2:45 am
Indoctrination as a Way of Life Act
February 26th, 2009 at 5:49 am
Educating All Children Act
February 26th, 2009 at 7:59 am
Forbid spanking children except on the right buttocks. “No child’s left behind”
February 26th, 2009 at 8:37 am
No Child Excels So No Child Fails Act
We have got to stop teaching and tailoring to the bottom rung students and diversify the offerings and opportunities. Education is not one size fits all.
February 26th, 2009 at 9:46 am
I’m in favor of education that takes individual differences (strengths and challenges) into account, so how about this:
T’EACH — TO EACH according to his/her needs.
Or: FR’EACH and T’EACH (kinda like Cheech and Chong) — FROM EACH according to his/her abilities, TO EACH according to his/her needs.
I know the second suggestion is a lemon, it’ll probably bother some people with the allusion, so here’s another possible name: MARK’S LEMON BILL. (Just don’t ask who Bill is.)
February 26th, 2009 at 9:53 am
If that act is left intact we could call it one of several names:
Teaching to the Test at the Expense of Self Expression and Creativity Act
The Let’s Pretend that All the Children Are Potential College Material and Crush the Self-Esteem of Those Who Don’t Live Up to that Image Act
The Forcing Teachers to Rethink Their Choice of Occupation Act
February 26th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Changing the name is not the same as fixing the law. See website for No Cow Left Behind: A Cautionary Tale (http://www.urbanedjournal.org/commentaries/comment0014.html)
February 26th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Several suggestions,
AQFA (Abjure Quick Fixes Act)
NTLU (No Turn Left Unstoned)
YSNOT (Yes, So No Opportunity, Try! )
NGDLU (No Good Deed Left Unpunished)
INNW — (If Not Now When)
February 26th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Assess Students’ Success Within Individual Parameters – wait…that acronym isn’t PC
February 26th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
how about calling it Every special education student left behind. As the law stands now there is no time to teach what these kids really need which is life skills. so the lowest of the low, are being left behind trying to do academics that they will never be able to master because their cognitive abilities are so low.
February 26th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I haven’t yet read through the thousand or so entries to see if this has been suggested yet (my eyes always tear up after three or four!) but I think that we need new names both for the administering agency and for their pedagogical activities. I suggest:
Disempowering Underachievement Multiple-choice-testing Board
And
Disempowering Underachievement Multiple-choice-testing Board Educational Reforms
February 26th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Any education act in America should at least be subtitle The No Hope of Actually Working Act
February 26th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
The SITSA (Stick it To Schools Act)
February 26th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
The Wish We Could Afford Private School Act
February 26th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Liberalism is Ruining our Kids Act
Bitter Liberal Whiny Teachers Stoop to Name-Calling Because They Don’t Know How to Debate Actual Ideas Act
February 27th, 2009 at 8:19 am
NCLB version 2.0
I am a liberal teacher, but not whiny or bitter.
George W. was well-intentioned when passing this legislation, but like everything it needs to be tweaked. One example, would be the simple fact that some special education students will NOT score at the 100th percentile (as the bill suggests all children can). At the same time that does not mean they cannot learn, and the money from NCLB defintely helps.
As far as the bitter whiney teachers complaining about teaching to the test. Get over it. Standardized tests are a reality. I believe if you teach your curriculum effectively, believe in your teaching methods, and are passionate about your subject matter, that all your students will score well on the standardized tests regardless of the format, politics, or legislation related to it.
February 27th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Yes We Can Act…
Yes We Can rename NCLB…
Yes We Can input changes…
Yes We Can keep parts the same…
Yes We Can hold states accountable…
Yes We Can hold schools accountable…
Yes We Can hold teachers accountable…
Yes We Can enforce new laws…
Yes We Can enforce new methods…
Yes We Can take away monies…
Yes We Can give you some money…
Yes We Can screw you…
Yes We Can …
Yes We Can …
Oh, Yes We Can!
February 27th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Oh Say Can You Read? (After the years long music educators program
Oh Say Can You Sing? the National Anthem)
February 27th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
The Education Recovery Act
recovering from GW’s total lack of understanding how to educate a child
February 27th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
The (CH)UMP: The (Cat Herding) Universal Matriculation Plan
February 27th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Mitigate K-12 Unsatisfactory Learning Test Results Act (MK-ULTRA)
February 27th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Since they got it backwards the first time around, how about the Behind Left Child No Law?
February 27th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Grimm’s Law: a fairy tale, by any other name, is still a fairy tale.
February 27th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
IDEA (sorry, pretty retro)
Take Over and Terminate Special ed students (TOTS)
Strugglers Ought to Beware (SOB Act)
Trampling Teacher Aspiration Act (T & A Act)
February 27th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Good Enough for Government
February 28th, 2009 at 12:03 am
Second Chances Are Mandatory (SCAM) Act
If At First You Don’t Succeed Test Again Act
Cook the Educational Books Act
No Personal Accountability Allowed Act
February 28th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Children Rigorously Attaining Priorities Act (aka: The CRAP Act)
The CRAP Act will ensure that all American children are taught to correctly and meticulously color in little circles.
TRAP Act:
Teachers Repeating Administrative Policy Act
The TRAP Act will ensure that quality teachers, while frustrated and jaded, will be forever ensconced in their classrooms. Although every fiber of their being is screaming at them in agony, these individuals will try to fit in actual teaching into their test fueled curricula. The dream, the hope of one day reclaiming their classrooms will keep them in the schools. . .
February 28th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Fifty Ways to Leave Your Classroom Act (FWLYC)
Early in the days of NCLB, many of us understood that we would be forced out of our roles as excellent teachers.
So, we began preparing to leave the classroom. We found several ways, some through retirement, with others becoming counselors, librarians, principals, central office administrators, test administrators and university instructors. There must be fifty ways to leave your classroom.
February 28th, 2009 at 11:48 am
How about the Students First Act. Arguably, if we name it students first, we should actually put students first. Not teachers, not principals, no labor unions, or other interests.
February 28th, 2009 at 11:58 am
How about.. The “In Honor of Our Two Inarticulate Presidents – Past and Present Act”
George W. Bush and Barack Obama both say “Tuh” when they mean To, Too, or Two
Pity
February 28th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Bell, Ted’s Excellent Adventure
February 28th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Hi
My three cents is:
An addendum to the saying: it takes a village to raise a child and it takes a Nation for his/her Education Act
A serious entry
Also we need a zero tolerance for violence in school act
David J Stein
Para
Scitech high school springfield ma
February 28th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
The Multiple Choice Act.
Surely there are bubble letters in the law somewhere. Never again will children be able to answer a question without being given four possible answers.
February 28th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
How about “An Act of God Cannot Be Overturned by An Act of Congress Act” even when you take into account all of special education teachers who are now highly qualified, or more simply put, the Let’s Get Real Again Act.
February 28th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Have Your Resume Ready Act
HYRRA
March 1st, 2009 at 10:25 am
More applicable to the previous administration (I hope) but..
No Child Unfit for Cannon Fodder Act
that was his goal, after all…
March 1st, 2009 at 4:01 pm
FIBWAP
Fill in a bubble, win a prize!
March 1st, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Rolling eyes is clueless. Oh, sorry, I don’t know how to debate.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:18 am
CAFFC Act – Creating a Future for Children Act
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:16 am
Death to Creative Teaching Act
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:21 am
How about:
1. You Can’t Polish a Turd Act
2. Just Because I Occupy and Office in Washington D.C. I Obviously Know More About Education Than Those Who are Teaching Act
3. If Education is So Easy Why Don’t You Quit Your Six-Figure Job and Do It Act
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:28 am
1. Only Dumb Children Left Behind (ODCLB)
2. Expel Failing Students to Raise the National Average (EFSRNA)
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Every Child Brought Forward Act (ECBF)
obviously the opposite of NCLB
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Future Unfunded Curriculum (and) Kids Educational Directive (need I type the acronym?)
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
No child moves ahead.
How many kids are going over the same material they already know over and over in the hopes that the last kid in the class will finally understand?
March 3rd, 2009 at 2:39 pm
How about the original name: Elementary and Secondary Education Act.
March 3rd, 2009 at 2:47 pm
How about the original name: Elementary and Secondary Education Act??
March 3rd, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Here’s two suggestions:
Overhauling Bush’s Appalling Mandates for Accountability (OBAMA)
Optimal Better Accountability Measures for All (OBAMA)
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Future Academic Improvement Law.
Kids And Teachers Rebuilding Infrastructure Nationally Act.
The George W. Bush Law For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.
March 4th, 2009 at 12:48 am
MuTTEM: Multiple-choice Testing to Ensure Mediocrity Act.
TP Act: Test and Test-prep Publishers’ Full Employment Act
The “How to Destroy the Nation’s Ability to Commit Democracy in One Generation” Act
March 4th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
It doesn’t need to be renamed, it needs to go away! Education should be at the local and state level for a reason – accountability. Federal programs are so far removed from their stakeholders that accountability goes out the window. We’ve seen ample proof of that.
March 4th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Please
Indict
Parents
Engendering
Dropouts
Realize
Every
Adolescent
Matters
March 4th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
How about “Get Behind Every Child Left”
Or, better yet, why not scrap NCLB as it stands and focus on teaching and learning instead?
March 4th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
Schools
Have to
Improve
Today
Act
March 5th, 2009 at 8:09 am
I love the idea of ‘Multiple Choice Act’ idea! But then there is the ‘Test Without Rest’ Act, possibility. Maybe ’4 Bubbles’ Act… or the ‘PAT-PAT-PAT’ Act (Pass A Test, Pass A Test, Pass A Test) cuz that is the essence of the Law, right? gh
March 5th, 2009 at 8:13 am
btw–tweaking this Law will not help anyone; strangling this Law until it dies might at least make me feel better.
gh
March 5th, 2009 at 8:16 am
I suggest No White, Wealthy Child Left Behind, since our government has decided accountability can fix all our problems while ignoring the bigger problems: racial segregation, student poverty, and inadequte funding.
March 5th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Since I like the principle of the law, but not the application:
Lost In Translation Act (LITA)
Since I teach Special Ed:
Isolate Students Who Struggle in School Act (ISWSISA)
And since I think Multiple Intelligence Theory is not practiced enough:
No One Break The Mold Act (NOBTHMA)
March 5th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Leaving Children Behind Because Vocational Careers Are No Longer Worthy Act
People who aren’t in education need to understand that in most countries all children aren’t even guaranteed a high school education. With No Child Left Behind, educators are supposed to prepare ALL students regardless of special needs or career interests for a four year college. We need to realize that vocational careers are valuable, and start allowing those students to have an alternative way of graduating high school. I am tired of seeing my perfectly trained students through our career center (in fields like cosmetology, building trades, welding, etc) not receiving high school diplomas because they couldn’t pass a college prep geared test.
I don’t have a funny acronym, but I do have the memories of seeing these children’s faces after learning twelve years of schooling won’t get them a high school diploma because of ONE TEST.
March 5th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Everyone Up-to-Speed Act
Rationale:
Everyone…
Children reach their potential through the support of knowledgeable, effective teachers and parents. Non-parents and non-teachers can help, too.
All children should be expected to learn and progress.
Up-to-Speed…
The achievement gap begins before children attend their first day of school. Education excellence will be a reality only when our children enter school “ready-to-learn”.
Effective teachers and schools empower each child to learn at his/her optimum speed.
The goal of the U.S. education system should be for each individual student to develop a love of learning and the tools to achieve up to his/her potential (speed).
March 5th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
A few suggestions:
Learn to the Test, Forget the Rest Act
No Test Left Behind Act [that one was just too easy]
All Rational Thinking Left Behind Act
Magic Bullet Education Act
March 6th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
No Child Left Brainy
March 7th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Continuing the cynical satirical strain:
Teach to the Test, Ignore the Rest Act
or
Teach to the Test, Ignore All the Rest Act
March 9th, 2009 at 12:24 am
Every Child Deserves Better Act **
March 9th, 2009 at 9:54 am
The Edward M. Kennedy Education Act of 2010
March 9th, 2009 at 10:39 am
The I-just-want-to-get-high-Go-shopping-to-buy-plastic-junk-Watch-hours-of-dumb-TV-Have-as-much-sex-as-I-can-Who-cares-about-learning-a-thing Act.
Screwed up American cultural and sub-cultural values account for 99% of the dismal test scores. Schools aren’t powerful enough to “fix” that.
So maybe it should just be the Rots O’ Ruck Act.
March 9th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
After all the mini-improvements, “Un Poquito Mas” seems like a fit.
March 9th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
The HOPE act (doesn’t stand for anything, just hope
which is what every student wants us to have for them.)
“No more cute but propagandistic names” Act?
March 9th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
No Fat Child Left Behind (since we don’t have time to teach PE anymore)
March 10th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Fine. Rename it.
But while we spin our wheels on this topic, how about the Homeland Security thing?
Am I the only person in America who hears in the word “Homeland” echoes of Hitler and Nazi Germany?
Whenever I hear the word, I cringe. I cannot seem to laugh at the historical nudnicks who didn’t make the connection when they applied it to a department of my government.
Yet we spend time on what this is named??
March 11th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
How about “12 years of learning ‘how to stay gainfully employeed until you can’t work physically or mentally work anymore’ act”
coupled with a “If you don’t think it’s your responsibility to be involved in your child’s education, you should not be a parent act.”
March 11th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
I think it should be named “Annek Act” meaning different in Hindi. Different race, different ethenic group, different age group, different color, different schools, and etc in terms of no child left behind – All sum up as ‘Annek”.
March 15th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
What about:
Retards Are Our Future Act
Mammoth Funding Catapult To Avoid Mammoth Funding Vacuum Act
The LOL Act: Let’s Obstruct Learning
The Quit Being So Ahead Act
The Hey-parents-if-you-want-to-go-on-a-drunken-crime-spree-we-will-just-fire-your-kid’s-teacher-later Act
The Make Our Children Is Learned Already In The Future Act
The Drug Party Act (interpret that how you like)
But in all seriousness, it should be (and the name should reflect what it is):
The All Child Progression Act
Bright children are discriminated against in our society, although it isn’t always apparent. Just as an example, I found kids at one supposedly great school in the Special Ed and TAG (Talented And Gifted) categories. The Special Ed group was a three hour class with the obviously best funding at the school. The TAG group met once for fifteen minutes during lunch, and they just sat around eating the entire time. That was their first and last “meeting”. If anyone wonders why kids hate school, it may just be because they are bored out of their minds because they aren’t learning anything. Meanwhile, the only people who are learning anything is the Special Ed group, but because the teacher is teaching everything to the test, the kids aren’t actually understanding any of it. I am actually still in school, and the only time I have ever learned more than three important things in a given year was in a private school, where NCLB didn’t apply. This year, for my testing (in a public school), I was asked how many chromosomes a sheep has. If that doesn’t sound weird enough yet, I am in 8th grade. Let’s pause for a second. When, if ever, will I need to know how many chromosomes a SHEEP has?!
In conclusion, if these are the questions asked of us, teaching to the test entails random deviations into the unnecessary and just plain stupid. And the Special Ed programs will always be grossly overfunded. We should ask “Will another 10 million really make these children learn anything more or better than they do now?” Because as long as everyone is teaching to the test, it won’t.
March 16th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
All Children Helped Ahead
(ACHA)
This is the opposite of the No Child Left Behind language. It is positive, inclusive, and hopefully places focus on a more educable part of the body!
March 18th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
The “No Teacher in America Can Conform Act”.
March 20th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Let’s go with a name that get to the heart of this legislation:
The “No Parents Held Accountable Act”
March 20th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
As an amendament to the “No Parents Held Accountable Act”, I suggest that a standardized parenting test be administered to would be parents. Like schools, if parents pass the test then fine, they may keep their children. If they fail, they would be labeled “PINI” parents (Parents In Need of Improvement) and would have to demonstrate progress after being tutored, mentored, and retested. If no progress is demonstrated, the children would be taken over and raised by wolves who would at least teach the kids how to provide for themselves.
April 5th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
As a teacher, I’d have to say “No Mandate Left Funded” would be a more appropriate name.
April 5th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Couldn’t resist one more: “Proof That Politicians Aren’t Educators” Act
April 5th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
OK, last two, I promise! “Social Studies Left Out” and “No Well-Rounded Students” Act.
April 14th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Education For a Stronger Tomorrow
EFAST
E-Fast
or
EdFAST
May 14th, 2009 at 9:48 am
How about “Our Future caretakers Act”…they
May 14th, 2009 at 9:49 am
WILL be taking care of all of us someday…or NOT
May 14th, 2009 at 9:54 am
“Teachers Pay for Their Own Supplies Act”
“America Is On the Short List in Education Act”
“Future Chinese Citizens Act”
“We Used to Be A World Power Act”…now we are turning out high school drop outs and record numbers of teen parents
Ok…seriously, “Rebuild Our Youth Act”
May 20th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
How about…
No more Crap Like Bush’s
or
Nattering, Carping, Lowlife Beaureaucrats (remember Agnew?)
or (seriously)
SAEC (Success for All America’s Children)
May 20th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Oops! I meant:
SAAC (Success for All America’s Children)
June 9th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Bright Child Education Act (BCEA)
June 14th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
We Are Going To Teach All Children Come Hell or High Water or
The WA GG TT A CC HH WA Act
June 26th, 2009 at 6:04 am
How about we figure out the changes Congress and the current administration have in mind, then name it? Seems like common sense…course politicians don’t like to use common sense very much when it comes to education in America.
September 19th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
NO CHILD LEFT WITH A MIND.(more accurate) Bring integrity and love back. Take a shot at healing OUR mess. Who knows? PERHAPS IT WILL BE THE ONE HEARD AROUND THE WORLD!
December 24th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Delusional Egalitarians Taking Revenge On Intelligent Testees?
Or perhaps No Behind Left Behind would be a more memorable entry.
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March 8th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
We’ve been calling it the “All Children Left Behind Act.”
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July 4th, 2010 at 8:32 am
Mental Asset Recovery Plan (MARP)
September 10th, 2010 at 8:40 am
Mental Asset Right Act (MARA) would sound good for it.
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November 29th, 2010 at 7:37 am
The issues raised in the comments to this blog are pretty interesting…and sometimes funny. As for the name how about Make Kids Learn Good Act?
March 5th, 2011 at 1:24 am
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http://www.softailmotorcycles.net
May 19th, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Interesting post, in most countries the education of children in public schools needs to be improved. This law and funding is very important, if there is going to be an improvement and better education I would use the name “The Kids Are All Right”
June 3rd, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Well, it was only a matter of time until they named that law, no wonder why the have not yet made use of the hay fever injection.